On Twenty-two May Two Thousand Eight A.D./C.E., there were no transactions.
Sound the all clear.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Slacker's Roundup
Does anyone still read this crap?
The Naps, or just Naps, dropped Andy Sonnanstine SP and picked up Mark DeRosa, Cub and jack of all trades for $1. Because of DeRosa's flexibility, I would like to see someone run the numbers to see how valuable he is compared to DH only players. Sure, Hafner and Ortiz can put up monster numbers, but as for being able to fill in holes over the course of 162 games, you gotta think DeRosa's numbers could add up like change jar.
The Extent of the Erroneous Cubs dropped Chad Gaudin who's going back to the 'pen and picked up Blake Dewitt, 3b, for $1. Dewitt just hurt himself today. Oops.
The Darnedsox dropped DL-bound Kevin Millwood and picked up two-start starter Livan Las Vegas Hernandez, $1. Doesn't matter. The Sox are getting shit hammered this week too.
The Consummate Bastards loved 2B Howie Kendrick so much that they set him free. It'll be hard for Kendrick to come back with those bad hammies. Coming in to round out the roster is little Andy Miller from down the street. $1. They also released Matt Kemp, CF, and picked up Jay Lenny Bruce, CF, $1. He's the next big thing, so says Sportsline and even Tim Kurkjian on my TV just now... provided Griffey Jr. moves out.
Da Prop Joes, still high on their victory last week, dropped Bronson Arroyo and his bad music for Vincente Padilla, $1. Padilla's been leading a charmed life as a Ranger pitcher. The Rangers won their 6th straight series for the first time since 1989. When things are going as usual--read: poorly--most of the Rangers don't even like Padilla: He works slow, and drills guys when he gets touched up thus Rangers get drilled. Hope this isn't a long-term deal. Not going to wait for him to get a damned win, they also dropped Kason Gabbard, who like Padilla, has pitched better than his record indicates. Moving in is our old friend and funny man Ryan Dempster who's chooglin' right along and had a nice week last week. I'm sure I'm not the only one surprised that his transition from closer to starter has gone this well, $1.
Festivus Miracles dropped Ryan Doumit who fractured his thumb playing Rock Band and picked up agitator AJ Pierzynski, $1. The latter had 10G, 5A and 289 PIMs last year. Apparently, Sean Avery wasn't available.
DCBA prettyboys Slipstream Starlings got a bit more multicultural by dropping Chad Qualls who is always good for a few holds, and picking up Hideki Okajima, $1. Tit for tat. Or actually, maybe, yin for yang.
The Naps, or just Naps, dropped Andy Sonnanstine SP and picked up Mark DeRosa, Cub and jack of all trades for $1. Because of DeRosa's flexibility, I would like to see someone run the numbers to see how valuable he is compared to DH only players. Sure, Hafner and Ortiz can put up monster numbers, but as for being able to fill in holes over the course of 162 games, you gotta think DeRosa's numbers could add up like change jar.
The Extent of the Erroneous Cubs dropped Chad Gaudin who's going back to the 'pen and picked up Blake Dewitt, 3b, for $1. Dewitt just hurt himself today. Oops.
The Darnedsox dropped DL-bound Kevin Millwood and picked up two-start starter Livan Las Vegas Hernandez, $1. Doesn't matter. The Sox are getting shit hammered this week too.
The Consummate Bastards loved 2B Howie Kendrick so much that they set him free. It'll be hard for Kendrick to come back with those bad hammies. Coming in to round out the roster is little Andy Miller from down the street. $1. They also released Matt Kemp, CF, and picked up Jay Lenny Bruce, CF, $1. He's the next big thing, so says Sportsline and even Tim Kurkjian on my TV just now... provided Griffey Jr. moves out.
Da Prop Joes, still high on their victory last week, dropped Bronson Arroyo and his bad music for Vincente Padilla, $1. Padilla's been leading a charmed life as a Ranger pitcher. The Rangers won their 6th straight series for the first time since 1989. When things are going as usual--read: poorly--most of the Rangers don't even like Padilla: He works slow, and drills guys when he gets touched up thus Rangers get drilled. Hope this isn't a long-term deal. Not going to wait for him to get a damned win, they also dropped Kason Gabbard, who like Padilla, has pitched better than his record indicates. Moving in is our old friend and funny man Ryan Dempster who's chooglin' right along and had a nice week last week. I'm sure I'm not the only one surprised that his transition from closer to starter has gone this well, $1.
Festivus Miracles dropped Ryan Doumit who fractured his thumb playing Rock Band and picked up agitator AJ Pierzynski, $1. The latter had 10G, 5A and 289 PIMs last year. Apparently, Sean Avery wasn't available.
DCBA prettyboys Slipstream Starlings got a bit more multicultural by dropping Chad Qualls who is always good for a few holds, and picking up Hideki Okajima, $1. Tit for tat. Or actually, maybe, yin for yang.
Monday, May 12, 2008
This Week In DCBA #6: A Little Help From Above
After a week without badly written commentary we're back with the roundup. Also back in action: Da Prop Joes and Der Broken Angels after their first victories of the year.
Slipstream Starlings 357.5000 at All the wrong Cubs 267
Speaking of taking a week off, it appears that the MVPs of April - Burrell & Utley - decided to hit the reset button for May. Nevertheless, taking up the role of slugging teammates were the duo of Youkilis & Lowell, enough to make the loss of Troy Tulowitzki bearable. Along with SP Ervin Magic Santana, they combined for 39% of the Starling scoring. The ATWC continue their hot/cold start to the season, although perhaps they're beginning to moderate a bit. (Week 1: Loss by 99.5. Week 3: Loss by 99.5. Week 6: Loss by only 89.5.) Very impressive bench this week (39 INN, 3-2, S, 3 QS) nearly matches the starters (39.1 INN, 3-4, 3 S, 4 QS) so no blame there.
Festivus Miracles 268 at Bucketheads 320
Consistent but low-scoring production from the Festivi, with 15 of 16 players in double-digits, but only 1 above 30. The Bucketheads, meanwhile, had 2 starters in the single-digits, but 3 over 30.
Naps 269.5000 at The Consummate Bastards 317
Naps left 3 saves on the bench, took 0 to the starting lineup. Over in the TCB camp, Detroit Tigers firstbaseman Miguel Cabrera is 6 games short of qualifying at 3b for next year, so they're hoping to get what they can out of him in the interim. He was their low scorer with 8 this week.
Not So Fragile Flowers 265 at Broken Angels 275.5000
May showers bring Fragile Flowers to their knees, as at least 6 of their starting 16 see games washed away on Sunday (1.75 pts./player = W). Despite having only 1 rainout on their schedule, the Angels received only 4 more plate appearances and 1 2/3 more IP than the Flowers, so...congratulations to the Angels on their first victory of 2008, no matter how they did it.
Da Prop Joes 294 at The Darned Sox 256
Da Joes were also able to use the weather to their advantage, losing only 4 players to rain as compared to the TDS 7 to pick up their first win of the campaign, which puts them 4 games ahead of last year's pace. Despite the ill-timed downpours, the TDS still managed to rack up 16 more plate appearances than the DPJ, apparently to no great effect.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
This Week In DCBA #5: For The Gipper
TWIDCBA is on hiatus until the Broken Angels and Da Prop Joes win a game.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Transaction Thursday
More of my penetrating insight. Just three moves to talk about and one "move."
Leading off, The Bastards DL-bound dropped prospect Phil Hughes and acquired RF Carlos Quentin for $2. I know for a firsthand fact at least one team was outbid on this guy. The Bastards just got 4 years older picking up this guy. Watch out they don't trip over their beards in the coming weeks.
Broken Angels demoted SS JJ Hardy to Cloud #8 in order to bring up Edwin Encarnacion for $1. Encarnacion's putting up solid numbers, but it's early and it remains to be seen whether this is a streak that is out streaking the streaky Hardy. Look for Hardy to rebound at a weak position.
All the Wrong Cubs dropped one-time fantasy stud Bartolo Colon who has yet to see action this year and might be something pitching for the Red Sox in order to pick up SP John Lannan for $1. Little do people know that in the off season Lannan is a builder at the Lego land in Copenhagen, erecting such attractions as Yoda's cave on Dagobah, a life-size Vern Troyer, and an animatronic alimentary canal that the little ones can walk through. He's a lefty.
Leading off, The Bastards DL-bound dropped prospect Phil Hughes and acquired RF Carlos Quentin for $2. I know for a firsthand fact at least one team was outbid on this guy. The Bastards just got 4 years older picking up this guy. Watch out they don't trip over their beards in the coming weeks.
Broken Angels demoted SS JJ Hardy to Cloud #8 in order to bring up Edwin Encarnacion for $1. Encarnacion's putting up solid numbers, but it's early and it remains to be seen whether this is a streak that is out streaking the streaky Hardy. Look for Hardy to rebound at a weak position.
All the Wrong Cubs dropped one-time fantasy stud Bartolo Colon who has yet to see action this year and might be something pitching for the Red Sox in order to pick up SP John Lannan for $1. Little do people know that in the off season Lannan is a builder at the Lego land in Copenhagen, erecting such attractions as Yoda's cave on Dagobah, a life-size Vern Troyer, and an animatronic alimentary canal that the little ones can walk through. He's a lefty.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
This Week In DCBA #4: B-Tard Strength
The Consummate Bastards 452 @ Slipstream Starlings 394
Former champion Starling Shields comes back Bastardly with season-high 54 points to slay ex-mates. Brewers boppers Braun & Fielder back on track, racking up points. Utley & Burrell team up, put up a fight, but Phillie Phenoms fail to foil first loss of the year.
Bucketheads 335 @ The Darned Sox 382.5
Berkman goes berzerker, joins the illustrious ranks of Conor Jackson & Raul Ibanez as 50-point barrier breaker in 08, while Shingo Taktsu lends Daisuke Matsuzka his Mr. Zero sash for the week. Buckin' Fuchholz goes 2 strong outings, & Venezuelan teammates Ordonez & Zambrano get assists on the powerplay goal - win #1.
Da Prop Joes 299 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 369.5
Same crew creating chaos for Da Joes as last year, minus Jason Bay. Cano, Floyd & Howard are just 3 of the stooges sinking the good ship la-di-Prop this year. The whole town ain't talking about the Webb boy, but not on account of his solid effort this week (42 pts) nor because team leading shortstop Young outperformed him (35 pts.)
Manriques 283 @ All The Wrong Cubs 352
The team with 2 names employed the pitcher with 3 names to give up 5 runs, and will for another week be known as the team with 1 win. Just another week at the office for Wang, but while he may be brown-bagging it, his teammates are three-bagging it, running the 270-foot dash four times.
Broken Angels 250.5 @ Festivus Miracles 342.5
With 4 losses in as many games, it may seem like every walk down the street turns up a bad penny for the Angels, but Brad actually had a good 35.5 week. The Cueto/Oswalt roulette wheel lands on 0 for Oswalt, and he pitches on the black to help the Miracles stay out of the red.
Former champion Starling Shields comes back Bastardly with season-high 54 points to slay ex-mates. Brewers boppers Braun & Fielder back on track, racking up points. Utley & Burrell team up, put up a fight, but Phillie Phenoms fail to foil first loss of the year.
Bucketheads 335 @ The Darned Sox 382.5
Berkman goes berzerker, joins the illustrious ranks of Conor Jackson & Raul Ibanez as 50-point barrier breaker in 08, while Shingo Taktsu lends Daisuke Matsuzka his Mr. Zero sash for the week. Buckin' Fuchholz goes 2 strong outings, & Venezuelan teammates Ordonez & Zambrano get assists on the powerplay goal - win #1.
Da Prop Joes 299 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 369.5
Same crew creating chaos for Da Joes as last year, minus Jason Bay. Cano, Floyd & Howard are just 3 of the stooges sinking the good ship la-di-Prop this year. The whole town ain't talking about the Webb boy, but not on account of his solid effort this week (42 pts) nor because team leading shortstop Young outperformed him (35 pts.)
Manriques 283 @ All The Wrong Cubs 352
The team with 2 names employed the pitcher with 3 names to give up 5 runs, and will for another week be known as the team with 1 win. Just another week at the office for Wang, but while he may be brown-bagging it, his teammates are three-bagging it, running the 270-foot dash four times.
Broken Angels 250.5 @ Festivus Miracles 342.5
With 4 losses in as many games, it may seem like every walk down the street turns up a bad penny for the Angels, but Brad actually had a good 35.5 week. The Cueto/Oswalt roulette wheel lands on 0 for Oswalt, and he pitches on the black to help the Miracles stay out of the red.
A Very Important, If Not Confusing, Message From Sportsline
"Please note that the stats from the Baltimore Orioles/Chicago White Sox game played and postponed on April 28 have already been included in your league. In Rotisserie and Ranked, Points based leagues, the rest of the stats will be included once the game has been completed. In Head to Head leagues, the additional stats from the conclusion of the game will not be included."
Good news: Jenks and Sherrill can't be held responsible for another blown save.
Good news: Jenks and Sherrill can't be held responsible for another blown save.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
+/- (Monday-ish Edition)
The Consummate Bastards
+Jonathan O. Sanchez, Max Scherzer, Jay Bruce
-Francisco Liriano, Billy Butler, Jeremy Hermida $10
TCB picks up the left-handed Daniel Cabrera, the National League Joba Chamberlain, and the minor-league...Cliff Floyd? (The 21 year-old version of Floyd, at least, one might hope.) Gone are O'Sanchez's former Giants minor-league teammate Francisco Liriano, Billy "The" Butler "Didn't Do It" and the young version of J.D. Drew. Interesting question...all things considered, injuries and potential among them, who would you rather have, a J.D. Drew or a Cliff Floyd?
Cliff Floyd: averages 109 games/season, .279/.359/.485 batting line, 16 HR, 11 SB (120 OPS+)
J.D. Drew: averages 110 games/season, .284/.390/.498 batting line, 17 HR, 8 SB (128 OPS+)
Manriques
+Daniel Cabrera
-Hong-Chih Kuo, $2
It's the right-handed Daniel Cabrera! Some sucker always falls for him every year, but never in time to actually capture his good outings. There's only so many suckers to go around, however, so it's likely that Hong-Chih Kuo and his disappearing 2-start week and status as a starter are never to appear in the DCBA again.
Slipstream Starlings
+Chad Qualls
-Carlos Gomez, $2
With the limited supply of quality closers, and the uncertainty that comes with waiting for them to actually get an opportunity only to see them blow it, set-up men make good investments. Example: Slipstream Starlings - Chad Qualls vs. Francisco Cordero. The "iDos Franciscos!" t-shirts order will have to be put on hold for now.
+Jonathan O. Sanchez, Max Scherzer, Jay Bruce
-Francisco Liriano, Billy Butler, Jeremy Hermida $10
TCB picks up the left-handed Daniel Cabrera, the National League Joba Chamberlain, and the minor-league...Cliff Floyd? (The 21 year-old version of Floyd, at least, one might hope.) Gone are O'Sanchez's former Giants minor-league teammate Francisco Liriano, Billy "The" Butler "Didn't Do It" and the young version of J.D. Drew. Interesting question...all things considered, injuries and potential among them, who would you rather have, a J.D. Drew or a Cliff Floyd?
Cliff Floyd: averages 109 games/season, .279/.359/.485 batting line, 16 HR, 11 SB (120 OPS+)
J.D. Drew: averages 110 games/season, .284/.390/.498 batting line, 17 HR, 8 SB (128 OPS+)
Manriques
+Daniel Cabrera
-Hong-Chih Kuo, $2
It's the right-handed Daniel Cabrera! Some sucker always falls for him every year, but never in time to actually capture his good outings. There's only so many suckers to go around, however, so it's likely that Hong-Chih Kuo and his disappearing 2-start week and status as a starter are never to appear in the DCBA again.
Slipstream Starlings
+Chad Qualls
-Carlos Gomez, $2
With the limited supply of quality closers, and the uncertainty that comes with waiting for them to actually get an opportunity only to see them blow it, set-up men make good investments. Example: Slipstream Starlings - Chad Qualls vs. Francisco Cordero. The "iDos Franciscos!" t-shirts order will have to be put on hold for now.
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