On Twenty-two May Two Thousand Eight A.D./C.E., there were no transactions.
Sound the all clear.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Slacker's Roundup
Does anyone still read this crap?
The Naps, or just Naps, dropped Andy Sonnanstine SP and picked up Mark DeRosa, Cub and jack of all trades for $1. Because of DeRosa's flexibility, I would like to see someone run the numbers to see how valuable he is compared to DH only players. Sure, Hafner and Ortiz can put up monster numbers, but as for being able to fill in holes over the course of 162 games, you gotta think DeRosa's numbers could add up like change jar.
The Extent of the Erroneous Cubs dropped Chad Gaudin who's going back to the 'pen and picked up Blake Dewitt, 3b, for $1. Dewitt just hurt himself today. Oops.
The Darnedsox dropped DL-bound Kevin Millwood and picked up two-start starter Livan Las Vegas Hernandez, $1. Doesn't matter. The Sox are getting shit hammered this week too.
The Consummate Bastards loved 2B Howie Kendrick so much that they set him free. It'll be hard for Kendrick to come back with those bad hammies. Coming in to round out the roster is little Andy Miller from down the street. $1. They also released Matt Kemp, CF, and picked up Jay Lenny Bruce, CF, $1. He's the next big thing, so says Sportsline and even Tim Kurkjian on my TV just now... provided Griffey Jr. moves out.
Da Prop Joes, still high on their victory last week, dropped Bronson Arroyo and his bad music for Vincente Padilla, $1. Padilla's been leading a charmed life as a Ranger pitcher. The Rangers won their 6th straight series for the first time since 1989. When things are going as usual--read: poorly--most of the Rangers don't even like Padilla: He works slow, and drills guys when he gets touched up thus Rangers get drilled. Hope this isn't a long-term deal. Not going to wait for him to get a damned win, they also dropped Kason Gabbard, who like Padilla, has pitched better than his record indicates. Moving in is our old friend and funny man Ryan Dempster who's chooglin' right along and had a nice week last week. I'm sure I'm not the only one surprised that his transition from closer to starter has gone this well, $1.
Festivus Miracles dropped Ryan Doumit who fractured his thumb playing Rock Band and picked up agitator AJ Pierzynski, $1. The latter had 10G, 5A and 289 PIMs last year. Apparently, Sean Avery wasn't available.
DCBA prettyboys Slipstream Starlings got a bit more multicultural by dropping Chad Qualls who is always good for a few holds, and picking up Hideki Okajima, $1. Tit for tat. Or actually, maybe, yin for yang.
The Naps, or just Naps, dropped Andy Sonnanstine SP and picked up Mark DeRosa, Cub and jack of all trades for $1. Because of DeRosa's flexibility, I would like to see someone run the numbers to see how valuable he is compared to DH only players. Sure, Hafner and Ortiz can put up monster numbers, but as for being able to fill in holes over the course of 162 games, you gotta think DeRosa's numbers could add up like change jar.
The Extent of the Erroneous Cubs dropped Chad Gaudin who's going back to the 'pen and picked up Blake Dewitt, 3b, for $1. Dewitt just hurt himself today. Oops.
The Darnedsox dropped DL-bound Kevin Millwood and picked up two-start starter Livan Las Vegas Hernandez, $1. Doesn't matter. The Sox are getting shit hammered this week too.
The Consummate Bastards loved 2B Howie Kendrick so much that they set him free. It'll be hard for Kendrick to come back with those bad hammies. Coming in to round out the roster is little Andy Miller from down the street. $1. They also released Matt Kemp, CF, and picked up Jay Lenny Bruce, CF, $1. He's the next big thing, so says Sportsline and even Tim Kurkjian on my TV just now... provided Griffey Jr. moves out.
Da Prop Joes, still high on their victory last week, dropped Bronson Arroyo and his bad music for Vincente Padilla, $1. Padilla's been leading a charmed life as a Ranger pitcher. The Rangers won their 6th straight series for the first time since 1989. When things are going as usual--read: poorly--most of the Rangers don't even like Padilla: He works slow, and drills guys when he gets touched up thus Rangers get drilled. Hope this isn't a long-term deal. Not going to wait for him to get a damned win, they also dropped Kason Gabbard, who like Padilla, has pitched better than his record indicates. Moving in is our old friend and funny man Ryan Dempster who's chooglin' right along and had a nice week last week. I'm sure I'm not the only one surprised that his transition from closer to starter has gone this well, $1.
Festivus Miracles dropped Ryan Doumit who fractured his thumb playing Rock Band and picked up agitator AJ Pierzynski, $1. The latter had 10G, 5A and 289 PIMs last year. Apparently, Sean Avery wasn't available.
DCBA prettyboys Slipstream Starlings got a bit more multicultural by dropping Chad Qualls who is always good for a few holds, and picking up Hideki Okajima, $1. Tit for tat. Or actually, maybe, yin for yang.
Monday, May 12, 2008
This Week In DCBA #6: A Little Help From Above
After a week without badly written commentary we're back with the roundup. Also back in action: Da Prop Joes and Der Broken Angels after their first victories of the year.
Slipstream Starlings 357.5000 at All the wrong Cubs 267
Speaking of taking a week off, it appears that the MVPs of April - Burrell & Utley - decided to hit the reset button for May. Nevertheless, taking up the role of slugging teammates were the duo of Youkilis & Lowell, enough to make the loss of Troy Tulowitzki bearable. Along with SP Ervin Magic Santana, they combined for 39% of the Starling scoring. The ATWC continue their hot/cold start to the season, although perhaps they're beginning to moderate a bit. (Week 1: Loss by 99.5. Week 3: Loss by 99.5. Week 6: Loss by only 89.5.) Very impressive bench this week (39 INN, 3-2, S, 3 QS) nearly matches the starters (39.1 INN, 3-4, 3 S, 4 QS) so no blame there.
Festivus Miracles 268 at Bucketheads 320
Consistent but low-scoring production from the Festivi, with 15 of 16 players in double-digits, but only 1 above 30. The Bucketheads, meanwhile, had 2 starters in the single-digits, but 3 over 30.
Naps 269.5000 at The Consummate Bastards 317
Naps left 3 saves on the bench, took 0 to the starting lineup. Over in the TCB camp, Detroit Tigers firstbaseman Miguel Cabrera is 6 games short of qualifying at 3b for next year, so they're hoping to get what they can out of him in the interim. He was their low scorer with 8 this week.
Not So Fragile Flowers 265 at Broken Angels 275.5000
May showers bring Fragile Flowers to their knees, as at least 6 of their starting 16 see games washed away on Sunday (1.75 pts./player = W). Despite having only 1 rainout on their schedule, the Angels received only 4 more plate appearances and 1 2/3 more IP than the Flowers, so...congratulations to the Angels on their first victory of 2008, no matter how they did it.
Da Prop Joes 294 at The Darned Sox 256
Da Joes were also able to use the weather to their advantage, losing only 4 players to rain as compared to the TDS 7 to pick up their first win of the campaign, which puts them 4 games ahead of last year's pace. Despite the ill-timed downpours, the TDS still managed to rack up 16 more plate appearances than the DPJ, apparently to no great effect.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
This Week In DCBA #5: For The Gipper
TWIDCBA is on hiatus until the Broken Angels and Da Prop Joes win a game.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Transaction Thursday
More of my penetrating insight. Just three moves to talk about and one "move."
Leading off, The Bastards DL-bound dropped prospect Phil Hughes and acquired RF Carlos Quentin for $2. I know for a firsthand fact at least one team was outbid on this guy. The Bastards just got 4 years older picking up this guy. Watch out they don't trip over their beards in the coming weeks.
Broken Angels demoted SS JJ Hardy to Cloud #8 in order to bring up Edwin Encarnacion for $1. Encarnacion's putting up solid numbers, but it's early and it remains to be seen whether this is a streak that is out streaking the streaky Hardy. Look for Hardy to rebound at a weak position.
All the Wrong Cubs dropped one-time fantasy stud Bartolo Colon who has yet to see action this year and might be something pitching for the Red Sox in order to pick up SP John Lannan for $1. Little do people know that in the off season Lannan is a builder at the Lego land in Copenhagen, erecting such attractions as Yoda's cave on Dagobah, a life-size Vern Troyer, and an animatronic alimentary canal that the little ones can walk through. He's a lefty.
Leading off, The Bastards DL-bound dropped prospect Phil Hughes and acquired RF Carlos Quentin for $2. I know for a firsthand fact at least one team was outbid on this guy. The Bastards just got 4 years older picking up this guy. Watch out they don't trip over their beards in the coming weeks.
Broken Angels demoted SS JJ Hardy to Cloud #8 in order to bring up Edwin Encarnacion for $1. Encarnacion's putting up solid numbers, but it's early and it remains to be seen whether this is a streak that is out streaking the streaky Hardy. Look for Hardy to rebound at a weak position.
All the Wrong Cubs dropped one-time fantasy stud Bartolo Colon who has yet to see action this year and might be something pitching for the Red Sox in order to pick up SP John Lannan for $1. Little do people know that in the off season Lannan is a builder at the Lego land in Copenhagen, erecting such attractions as Yoda's cave on Dagobah, a life-size Vern Troyer, and an animatronic alimentary canal that the little ones can walk through. He's a lefty.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
This Week In DCBA #4: B-Tard Strength
The Consummate Bastards 452 @ Slipstream Starlings 394
Former champion Starling Shields comes back Bastardly with season-high 54 points to slay ex-mates. Brewers boppers Braun & Fielder back on track, racking up points. Utley & Burrell team up, put up a fight, but Phillie Phenoms fail to foil first loss of the year.
Bucketheads 335 @ The Darned Sox 382.5
Berkman goes berzerker, joins the illustrious ranks of Conor Jackson & Raul Ibanez as 50-point barrier breaker in 08, while Shingo Taktsu lends Daisuke Matsuzka his Mr. Zero sash for the week. Buckin' Fuchholz goes 2 strong outings, & Venezuelan teammates Ordonez & Zambrano get assists on the powerplay goal - win #1.
Da Prop Joes 299 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 369.5
Same crew creating chaos for Da Joes as last year, minus Jason Bay. Cano, Floyd & Howard are just 3 of the stooges sinking the good ship la-di-Prop this year. The whole town ain't talking about the Webb boy, but not on account of his solid effort this week (42 pts) nor because team leading shortstop Young outperformed him (35 pts.)
Manriques 283 @ All The Wrong Cubs 352
The team with 2 names employed the pitcher with 3 names to give up 5 runs, and will for another week be known as the team with 1 win. Just another week at the office for Wang, but while he may be brown-bagging it, his teammates are three-bagging it, running the 270-foot dash four times.
Broken Angels 250.5 @ Festivus Miracles 342.5
With 4 losses in as many games, it may seem like every walk down the street turns up a bad penny for the Angels, but Brad actually had a good 35.5 week. The Cueto/Oswalt roulette wheel lands on 0 for Oswalt, and he pitches on the black to help the Miracles stay out of the red.
Former champion Starling Shields comes back Bastardly with season-high 54 points to slay ex-mates. Brewers boppers Braun & Fielder back on track, racking up points. Utley & Burrell team up, put up a fight, but Phillie Phenoms fail to foil first loss of the year.
Bucketheads 335 @ The Darned Sox 382.5
Berkman goes berzerker, joins the illustrious ranks of Conor Jackson & Raul Ibanez as 50-point barrier breaker in 08, while Shingo Taktsu lends Daisuke Matsuzka his Mr. Zero sash for the week. Buckin' Fuchholz goes 2 strong outings, & Venezuelan teammates Ordonez & Zambrano get assists on the powerplay goal - win #1.
Da Prop Joes 299 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 369.5
Same crew creating chaos for Da Joes as last year, minus Jason Bay. Cano, Floyd & Howard are just 3 of the stooges sinking the good ship la-di-Prop this year. The whole town ain't talking about the Webb boy, but not on account of his solid effort this week (42 pts) nor because team leading shortstop Young outperformed him (35 pts.)
Manriques 283 @ All The Wrong Cubs 352
The team with 2 names employed the pitcher with 3 names to give up 5 runs, and will for another week be known as the team with 1 win. Just another week at the office for Wang, but while he may be brown-bagging it, his teammates are three-bagging it, running the 270-foot dash four times.
Broken Angels 250.5 @ Festivus Miracles 342.5
With 4 losses in as many games, it may seem like every walk down the street turns up a bad penny for the Angels, but Brad actually had a good 35.5 week. The Cueto/Oswalt roulette wheel lands on 0 for Oswalt, and he pitches on the black to help the Miracles stay out of the red.
A Very Important, If Not Confusing, Message From Sportsline
"Please note that the stats from the Baltimore Orioles/Chicago White Sox game played and postponed on April 28 have already been included in your league. In Rotisserie and Ranked, Points based leagues, the rest of the stats will be included once the game has been completed. In Head to Head leagues, the additional stats from the conclusion of the game will not be included."
Good news: Jenks and Sherrill can't be held responsible for another blown save.
Good news: Jenks and Sherrill can't be held responsible for another blown save.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
+/- (Monday-ish Edition)
The Consummate Bastards
+Jonathan O. Sanchez, Max Scherzer, Jay Bruce
-Francisco Liriano, Billy Butler, Jeremy Hermida $10
TCB picks up the left-handed Daniel Cabrera, the National League Joba Chamberlain, and the minor-league...Cliff Floyd? (The 21 year-old version of Floyd, at least, one might hope.) Gone are O'Sanchez's former Giants minor-league teammate Francisco Liriano, Billy "The" Butler "Didn't Do It" and the young version of J.D. Drew. Interesting question...all things considered, injuries and potential among them, who would you rather have, a J.D. Drew or a Cliff Floyd?
Cliff Floyd: averages 109 games/season, .279/.359/.485 batting line, 16 HR, 11 SB (120 OPS+)
J.D. Drew: averages 110 games/season, .284/.390/.498 batting line, 17 HR, 8 SB (128 OPS+)
Manriques
+Daniel Cabrera
-Hong-Chih Kuo, $2
It's the right-handed Daniel Cabrera! Some sucker always falls for him every year, but never in time to actually capture his good outings. There's only so many suckers to go around, however, so it's likely that Hong-Chih Kuo and his disappearing 2-start week and status as a starter are never to appear in the DCBA again.
Slipstream Starlings
+Chad Qualls
-Carlos Gomez, $2
With the limited supply of quality closers, and the uncertainty that comes with waiting for them to actually get an opportunity only to see them blow it, set-up men make good investments. Example: Slipstream Starlings - Chad Qualls vs. Francisco Cordero. The "iDos Franciscos!" t-shirts order will have to be put on hold for now.
+Jonathan O. Sanchez, Max Scherzer, Jay Bruce
-Francisco Liriano, Billy Butler, Jeremy Hermida $10
TCB picks up the left-handed Daniel Cabrera, the National League Joba Chamberlain, and the minor-league...Cliff Floyd? (The 21 year-old version of Floyd, at least, one might hope.) Gone are O'Sanchez's former Giants minor-league teammate Francisco Liriano, Billy "The" Butler "Didn't Do It" and the young version of J.D. Drew. Interesting question...all things considered, injuries and potential among them, who would you rather have, a J.D. Drew or a Cliff Floyd?
Cliff Floyd: averages 109 games/season, .279/.359/.485 batting line, 16 HR, 11 SB (120 OPS+)
J.D. Drew: averages 110 games/season, .284/.390/.498 batting line, 17 HR, 8 SB (128 OPS+)
Manriques
+Daniel Cabrera
-Hong-Chih Kuo, $2
It's the right-handed Daniel Cabrera! Some sucker always falls for him every year, but never in time to actually capture his good outings. There's only so many suckers to go around, however, so it's likely that Hong-Chih Kuo and his disappearing 2-start week and status as a starter are never to appear in the DCBA again.
Slipstream Starlings
+Chad Qualls
-Carlos Gomez, $2
With the limited supply of quality closers, and the uncertainty that comes with waiting for them to actually get an opportunity only to see them blow it, set-up men make good investments. Example: Slipstream Starlings - Chad Qualls vs. Francisco Cordero. The "iDos Franciscos!" t-shirts order will have to be put on hold for now.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
+/-
All The Wrong Cubs
+Chad Gaudin
-Delmon Young, $2
The ATWC squadron is a lean, mean machine, now down to the bare-ass minimum of 9 hitters. Jettisoning Young could be considered addition by subtraction, for what it's worth. Whether you call it a sophomore slump or a rookie ripoff, Delmon Young ain't getting it done at the plate. Despite the fact that he's occasionally platooned vs. LHP and has 14 less at-bats than Young, Brad Hawpe has earned more points, plays in Colorado and can hit the ball out of the infield.
The Consummate Bastards
+Dustin Pedroia
-Aaron Hill, $1
Pedroia hit .182 with only 3 doubles during all of last April before going .333 for the rest of the year, adding 36 more doubles along the way. Maybe he's ended his slumping a little earlier this season.
The Darned Sox
+Randy Wolf
-Carlos Delgado, $1
With Derrek Lee leading the way among all firstbasemen in the league, and there being plenty of other credible options for the DH slot, and there being little to no hope that he'll ever rebound to close to his previously excellent numbers and production back when he was in Canada where they have a little something called 'freedom of expression,' Carlos Delgado is no longer needed for the Sox.
Bucketheads
+Matt Garza, BJ Ryan
-Jack Cust, Manny Corpas, $2
While the man he was traded for on the field was let go by the ATWC this week, Matt Garza was picked up by the Buckets yet again by the Buckets. So far this year, Garza has been outscored by 34 of the 37 pitchers drafted after his selection in the 11th round. Joining him in acquisitionville this week is BJ Ryan, who was outscored by 87 of the 90 pitchers drafted after his selection in the 2nd round of the 2007 draft. I'm sure they'll have a lot to talk about.
+Chad Gaudin
-Delmon Young, $2
The ATWC squadron is a lean, mean machine, now down to the bare-ass minimum of 9 hitters. Jettisoning Young could be considered addition by subtraction, for what it's worth. Whether you call it a sophomore slump or a rookie ripoff, Delmon Young ain't getting it done at the plate. Despite the fact that he's occasionally platooned vs. LHP and has 14 less at-bats than Young, Brad Hawpe has earned more points, plays in Colorado and can hit the ball out of the infield.
The Consummate Bastards
+Dustin Pedroia
-Aaron Hill, $1
Pedroia hit .182 with only 3 doubles during all of last April before going .333 for the rest of the year, adding 36 more doubles along the way. Maybe he's ended his slumping a little earlier this season.
The Darned Sox
+Randy Wolf
-Carlos Delgado, $1
With Derrek Lee leading the way among all firstbasemen in the league, and there being plenty of other credible options for the DH slot, and there being little to no hope that he'll ever rebound to close to his previously excellent numbers and production back when he was in Canada where they have a little something called 'freedom of expression,' Carlos Delgado is no longer needed for the Sox.
Bucketheads
+Matt Garza, BJ Ryan
-Jack Cust, Manny Corpas, $2
While the man he was traded for on the field was let go by the ATWC this week, Matt Garza was picked up by the Buckets yet again by the Buckets. So far this year, Garza has been outscored by 34 of the 37 pitchers drafted after his selection in the 11th round. Joining him in acquisitionville this week is BJ Ryan, who was outscored by 87 of the 90 pitchers drafted after his selection in the 2nd round of the 2007 draft. I'm sure they'll have a lot to talk about.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
This Week In DCBA #3: Slipstream Cresting
All The Wrong Cubs 245.5 @ Bucketheads 345
Cubs' pitching hits rough patch. Gorzellany's 2 2/3 IP + Wang's 4.0 IP = double-0 goose eggs. In a nod to Babe Ruth, staff as whole produces 7.14 ERA. Hitters hinder, don't help, obviously not matched up against their pitching counterparts, putting only 2 balls over the wall. Pitching: 9th out of 10. Hitting: 9th out of 10. The consistency of a soft-boiled egg.
Buckets led by Chipper with 42 pts.; Chipper led by trainers to clubhouse with strained quad. Westbrook chips in 31 pts. from the bump in 2 starts; will miss at least that many after being bumped to the DL.
Fun With On-Pace: Nate McLouth (ATWC) - 255 Hits! Chipper Jones (Buckets) - 289 Hits!
Festivus Miracles 288.5 @ Slipstream Starlings 419.5
Miracles bumped from top spot. Pitchers put out 2.77 ERA. Batters fail to hit bombs, just plain bomb. Team batting average league-low .251.
Starlings sterling, route rivals. The lesser Santana (Ervin) is magic, 15 IP for 46.5 points. Utley amazes, clobbers cinco clouts.
Fun With On-Pace: Jake Peavy (FM) - 24-0! Chase Utley (SS) - 72 HR!
The Darned Sox 368.5 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 290.5
Strong stretch for Sox. Slugging swingers swell the stats - 247 batting points alone. Starters scuffle, but closers clampdown 5 saves.
Flowers' fizzle. Pitchers are chucking (florid 2.56 ERA) while batters are sucking (flaccid .362 slugging percentage).
Fun With On-Pace: Johan Santana (TDS) - 18 Losses! Brandon Webb (NSFF) - 34 Wins!
Manriques 408.5 @ Broken Angels 320
Manriques sneak into the win column. 2 hitters over 40 points, 2 pitchers over 30 points.
Angels have a long way to climb. Worst start in franchise history. League leading 48 point effort from John Danks goes to waste.
Fun With On-Pace: Andruw Jones (Naps) - 25 RBI! Adam Dunn (Angels) - 178 Walks!
Da Prop Joes 253 @ The Consummate Bastards 280.5
Joes 0-3 for second year in a row. Soriano's bad timing leaves Willingham's game-changing 31 points on bench. Keith Foulke scores 0 - an improvement over "Sweaty" Joe Borowski.
Bastards benefit from bounceback by Miguel Cabrera. 1-5 in QS, 0-0 in saves results in league-low 82.5 pitching points.
Fun With On-Pace: Ryan Howard (Joes) - 226 Strikeouts! Phillip Hughes (CoBas) - 24 Losses!
Cubs' pitching hits rough patch. Gorzellany's 2 2/3 IP + Wang's 4.0 IP = double-0 goose eggs. In a nod to Babe Ruth, staff as whole produces 7.14 ERA. Hitters hinder, don't help, obviously not matched up against their pitching counterparts, putting only 2 balls over the wall. Pitching: 9th out of 10. Hitting: 9th out of 10. The consistency of a soft-boiled egg.
Buckets led by Chipper with 42 pts.; Chipper led by trainers to clubhouse with strained quad. Westbrook chips in 31 pts. from the bump in 2 starts; will miss at least that many after being bumped to the DL.
Fun With On-Pace: Nate McLouth (ATWC) - 255 Hits! Chipper Jones (Buckets) - 289 Hits!
Festivus Miracles 288.5 @ Slipstream Starlings 419.5
Miracles bumped from top spot. Pitchers put out 2.77 ERA. Batters fail to hit bombs, just plain bomb. Team batting average league-low .251.
Starlings sterling, route rivals. The lesser Santana (Ervin) is magic, 15 IP for 46.5 points. Utley amazes, clobbers cinco clouts.
Fun With On-Pace: Jake Peavy (FM) - 24-0! Chase Utley (SS) - 72 HR!
The Darned Sox 368.5 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 290.5
Strong stretch for Sox. Slugging swingers swell the stats - 247 batting points alone. Starters scuffle, but closers clampdown 5 saves.
Flowers' fizzle. Pitchers are chucking (florid 2.56 ERA) while batters are sucking (flaccid .362 slugging percentage).
Fun With On-Pace: Johan Santana (TDS) - 18 Losses! Brandon Webb (NSFF) - 34 Wins!
Manriques 408.5 @ Broken Angels 320
Manriques sneak into the win column. 2 hitters over 40 points, 2 pitchers over 30 points.
Angels have a long way to climb. Worst start in franchise history. League leading 48 point effort from John Danks goes to waste.
Fun With On-Pace: Andruw Jones (Naps) - 25 RBI! Adam Dunn (Angels) - 178 Walks!
Da Prop Joes 253 @ The Consummate Bastards 280.5
Joes 0-3 for second year in a row. Soriano's bad timing leaves Willingham's game-changing 31 points on bench. Keith Foulke scores 0 - an improvement over "Sweaty" Joe Borowski.
Bastards benefit from bounceback by Miguel Cabrera. 1-5 in QS, 0-0 in saves results in league-low 82.5 pitching points.
Fun With On-Pace: Ryan Howard (Joes) - 226 Strikeouts! Phillip Hughes (CoBas) - 24 Losses!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Transaction Thursday (Monday Edition II)
In the better interests of my non-functioning music career, you guys took one for the team and waited 'til Monday for my half-assed posting. Thanks, guys.
Da Prop Joes were moving things around this week, as ever, trying to find that winning chemistry. RF disappointment Austin Kearns was dropped to make room for Gavin Floyd who is on the come, $1. "Sweaty" Joe Borowski likely soon-to-be real life free agent got dropped to make room for Greg Maddux at $1. This isn't the Maddux of 10 years ago, let alone 5 years ago. But never underestimate that guy, especially in spacious Petco. He might put up solid middle of the rotation numbers for the Joes. Perhaps news gets to the Joes a few weeks late, or maybe they just don't read much of the newspaper, but longtime DL regular Kelvim Escobar finally got his pink slip from the Joes. Replacing him is Kason Gabbard of the Texas Rangers for $1. Gabbard's had some hard luck as a Ranger. Assuming he comes back to earth, he'll earn the rest of his loses legitimately: He's a Ranger pitcher.
The Darned Sox dropped one-time stud turned flash-in-the-pan Eric Gagne to bring up Kevin Millwood, $1. Millwood does this: Every few seasons he defies expectations and is reliable. Will it last? He's a Ranger. Probably not. Good luck, Sox.
Brad Lidge makes his return to hot DCBA action now that the Broken Angels dismissed Astros closer Jose Valverde. $3. Did someone get outbid for this guy? Ouch. Lidge is like Gagne, just without a few seasons of dominating stuff under his belt. Bob Barker would say, "You overbid."
Acting on some inside tip coming from the Cleveland clubhouse, The Consummate Bastards moved aside closer-in-waiting Heath Bell to make room for newly ordained Cleveland closer Rafael Betancourt. $5. This must have been tough for the Bastards. Betancourt is a full 2.45 years older than Bell. Someone most assuredly did get outbid on this.
Da Prop Joes were moving things around this week, as ever, trying to find that winning chemistry. RF disappointment Austin Kearns was dropped to make room for Gavin Floyd who is on the come, $1. "Sweaty" Joe Borowski likely soon-to-be real life free agent got dropped to make room for Greg Maddux at $1. This isn't the Maddux of 10 years ago, let alone 5 years ago. But never underestimate that guy, especially in spacious Petco. He might put up solid middle of the rotation numbers for the Joes. Perhaps news gets to the Joes a few weeks late, or maybe they just don't read much of the newspaper, but longtime DL regular Kelvim Escobar finally got his pink slip from the Joes. Replacing him is Kason Gabbard of the Texas Rangers for $1. Gabbard's had some hard luck as a Ranger. Assuming he comes back to earth, he'll earn the rest of his loses legitimately: He's a Ranger pitcher.
The Darned Sox dropped one-time stud turned flash-in-the-pan Eric Gagne to bring up Kevin Millwood, $1. Millwood does this: Every few seasons he defies expectations and is reliable. Will it last? He's a Ranger. Probably not. Good luck, Sox.
Brad Lidge makes his return to hot DCBA action now that the Broken Angels dismissed Astros closer Jose Valverde. $3. Did someone get outbid for this guy? Ouch. Lidge is like Gagne, just without a few seasons of dominating stuff under his belt. Bob Barker would say, "You overbid."
Acting on some inside tip coming from the Cleveland clubhouse, The Consummate Bastards moved aside closer-in-waiting Heath Bell to make room for newly ordained Cleveland closer Rafael Betancourt. $5. This must have been tough for the Bastards. Betancourt is a full 2.45 years older than Bell. Someone most assuredly did get outbid on this.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
This Week In DCBA #2: Festivus In Aluminum Pole Position
Da Prop Joes 244.5 @ Festivus Miracles 342.5
The undefeated, first-place Miracles 5 of 6 Quality Starts, 5 Wins, 3 Saves for a league-leading 145 pitching points. Standout performance by keeper Dan Haren, 12 K in 12 IP, 2 W, 2 QS (42 pts) , while rookie sensation Cueto rides the pine with 28.5 pts. Big Daddy Vladdy powers the offense with 31 pts on 8-24, 2 HR, 8 RBI week.
Da Prop Joes need a trip down to Pacific Garden Mission to get unshackled and try to be saved, as closers Sweaty Joe Borowski and Mo Rivera combine for 2 1/3 IP and 0.5 pts. Joe batters combined for a league-leading 223 AB.
The Consummate Bastards 229 @ Bucketheads 312
In 2005, the CoBas would have scored 1,642 pts on offense (almost 950 less than the 9th place team) and 411 pts pitching (1,800 less than the 9th place team): 2,053 total points in the entire year! In essence, they have a hell of a young team. So which youngster screwed em over this week? Oh, none of them - it was David Ortiz, the man who singlehandedly scored 734 pts in 2005, 36% of the entire team's output, checking in with a hitless 0-17 week.
The undefeated, first-place Buckets' top performance came not from CC Sabathia or Rafael Soriano, each of whom actually scored less than Ortiz. Combined they didn't even match Ortiz. Combined, they put up the same number of points as Barry Bonds this week. But nevertheless, a solid 1st round pick, Lance Berkman, carried the load - even stealing a base - and clocking in with 41 pts.
Slipstream Starlings 293 @ Broken Angels 252.5
The third undefeated, first-place team this week, the Starlings displayed the eye for talent that won them the title in 2007, as free agent pickup Brian "Son of Floyd" Bannister carried them to victory with his 14 IP, 2 W, CG effort, netting them a solid 42 points. Matt Holliday hit .480 with 2 HR and 10 RBI to contribute 41 more points on the offensive side.
The Angels got a league-leading 49 pitching points from Javy Vazquez. The rest of the Angels apparently thought they could take the week off, as they "generated" a league-low in a host of offensive categories, including HR, BA, and SLG, leading to a league-low 129 points of offense. Without Vazquez's performance, they also would've been in the cellar on the pitching side.
Manriques 256 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 302
Ah, winless and last-place Manriques. Bench points don't count, so it's a shame that every single pitcher on your bench this week scored more points than every single pitcher in your starting lineup. With the exception of Randy Johnson, who of course had that whole DL excuse going for him. The Manriques did manage to lead the league in steals, however, with 8. 8 x 1 = not enough.
Among the not-so-autodraftees, Duncan & Olsen hold down the bench, and Joe Blanton chips in 11.5 from the mound. Meanwhile, the 146th pick in the 2008 draft, Raul Ibanez, puts up the first 50 point week of the season with a 10-27, 4 HR, 11 RBI performance, powering the Flowers to a league-leading 215 offensive total in week 2.
All The Wrong Cubs 333 @ The Darned Sox 254
Behind the 10-27 batting performances of Adrian Gonzalez and Nate McLouth, as well as the 10-26 production of Bengie Molina, the All The Wrong Cubs led the league in batting average and on-base percentage. The trio of Hamels, Harang, and (not pray for rain) Wang combined for 32 IP with 4 wins and 4 quality starts.
Behind the 4-18 week of Ivan Rodriguez and the 4-22 production of Magglio Ordonez, the The Darned Sox led the league in double plays, with 7. Unfortunately for the Sox, while Derek Jeter averaged a point/AB, he managed only 1 AB in week 2. The bullpen duo of Wagner & Street combined for a league-leading 4 saves.
The undefeated, first-place Miracles 5 of 6 Quality Starts, 5 Wins, 3 Saves for a league-leading 145 pitching points. Standout performance by keeper Dan Haren, 12 K in 12 IP, 2 W, 2 QS (42 pts) , while rookie sensation Cueto rides the pine with 28.5 pts. Big Daddy Vladdy powers the offense with 31 pts on 8-24, 2 HR, 8 RBI week.
Da Prop Joes need a trip down to Pacific Garden Mission to get unshackled and try to be saved, as closers Sweaty Joe Borowski and Mo Rivera combine for 2 1/3 IP and 0.5 pts. Joe batters combined for a league-leading 223 AB.
The Consummate Bastards 229 @ Bucketheads 312
In 2005, the CoBas would have scored 1,642 pts on offense (almost 950 less than the 9th place team) and 411 pts pitching (1,800 less than the 9th place team): 2,053 total points in the entire year! In essence, they have a hell of a young team. So which youngster screwed em over this week? Oh, none of them - it was David Ortiz, the man who singlehandedly scored 734 pts in 2005, 36% of the entire team's output, checking in with a hitless 0-17 week.
The undefeated, first-place Buckets' top performance came not from CC Sabathia or Rafael Soriano, each of whom actually scored less than Ortiz. Combined they didn't even match Ortiz. Combined, they put up the same number of points as Barry Bonds this week. But nevertheless, a solid 1st round pick, Lance Berkman, carried the load - even stealing a base - and clocking in with 41 pts.
Slipstream Starlings 293 @ Broken Angels 252.5
The third undefeated, first-place team this week, the Starlings displayed the eye for talent that won them the title in 2007, as free agent pickup Brian "Son of Floyd" Bannister carried them to victory with his 14 IP, 2 W, CG effort, netting them a solid 42 points. Matt Holliday hit .480 with 2 HR and 10 RBI to contribute 41 more points on the offensive side.
The Angels got a league-leading 49 pitching points from Javy Vazquez. The rest of the Angels apparently thought they could take the week off, as they "generated" a league-low in a host of offensive categories, including HR, BA, and SLG, leading to a league-low 129 points of offense. Without Vazquez's performance, they also would've been in the cellar on the pitching side.
Manriques 256 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 302
Ah, winless and last-place Manriques. Bench points don't count, so it's a shame that every single pitcher on your bench this week scored more points than every single pitcher in your starting lineup. With the exception of Randy Johnson, who of course had that whole DL excuse going for him. The Manriques did manage to lead the league in steals, however, with 8. 8 x 1 = not enough.
Among the not-so-autodraftees, Duncan & Olsen hold down the bench, and Joe Blanton chips in 11.5 from the mound. Meanwhile, the 146th pick in the 2008 draft, Raul Ibanez, puts up the first 50 point week of the season with a 10-27, 4 HR, 11 RBI performance, powering the Flowers to a league-leading 215 offensive total in week 2.
All The Wrong Cubs 333 @ The Darned Sox 254
Behind the 10-27 batting performances of Adrian Gonzalez and Nate McLouth, as well as the 10-26 production of Bengie Molina, the All The Wrong Cubs led the league in batting average and on-base percentage. The trio of Hamels, Harang, and (not pray for rain) Wang combined for 32 IP with 4 wins and 4 quality starts.
Behind the 4-18 week of Ivan Rodriguez and the 4-22 production of Magglio Ordonez, the The Darned Sox led the league in double plays, with 7. Unfortunately for the Sox, while Derek Jeter averaged a point/AB, he managed only 1 AB in week 2. The bullpen duo of Wagner & Street combined for a league-leading 4 saves.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
+/-
Slipstream Starlings
+George Sherrill
-Boof Bonser and $1
An economy of roster move, as nominal ace Josh Beckett returns to action, swapping places with the on-the-shelf reliefer Francisco Rodriguez. With the Orioles off to a fast start before they inevitably fade away to 4th, if not 5th place, Sherill's been racking up some solid opportunities, something that's not guaranteed of K-Rod no matter how well the Angels may do. As mentioned, Beckett's return makes the solid if not dazzling Bonser expendable, as his upside is apparently not as great as the 8 other starters on the staff. Bonser will wind up with the Broken Angels next week; with Kelly Johnson fully operational, and currently tallying a hit in every game he's played this season, Jose Lopez will be dropped.
The Consummate Bastards
+Heath Bell
-Rafael Betancourt and $1
A set-up man knockdown merry-go-round. While also the realm of LOOGYs and ROOGYs and schlubs and scrubs and washed up starters, late inning relievers can fall into one of three categories: the usually overlooked talent that comes out of nowhere to make a name for himself in one brilliant campaign that allows him to stick around for a few years based on that one overhyped year and the subsequent albatross of a contract quickly handed out (Scott Eyre, Scott Linebrink); the hard thrower with all the talent but none of the execution, who just has to pan out eventually, but never does (Kyle Farnsworth); and finally the dependable bridge to the closer who won't lose his status as The Man no matter how poorly he performs, or how long and how effective the set up man is (Scot Shields). Rafael Betancourt would appear to fall into category #3, while it's too early to know exactly where Heath Bell will wind up. Trevor Hoffman can probably keep going for another 2-3 years, as he's never relied upon throwing cheese and his home ballpark can cover his ass.
Broken Angels
+Dana Eveland
-Chuck James and $2
As mentioned above, the BA's will likely make a move for longtime favorite Boof Bonser as soon as next week. No matter, though, as the Braves' optioning of James to the minors and John Lackey's current disabledness left the BA's with only 6 healthy pitchers, one of whom - John Danks - just happened to be rocked to the tune of -1.5 points before the transaction deadline. Eveland's got more potential to put up the big numbers than either fellow lefties James or Danks, with 406 K in 413 minor league IP; he was a 10th round pick in last year's draft.
Tip of the Week
As we were speaking of relievers and the Braves...Peter Moylan, the only name listed under "Notable Persons" section in the Wikipedia entry for Attadale, Australia, is the #1 contender to
replace Rafael Soriano while he's on the DL, for however long that may be. For what it's worth, he'll be under the command of Bobby Cox and the Braves, who have been able to take theretofore no-names like Kerry Ligtenberg, Mark Wohlers, John Rocker and Greg McMichael and turn them into 'closers' with the potential to rack up 30+ saves in a season before they shuffle back to anonymity.
+George Sherrill
-Boof Bonser and $1
An economy of roster move, as nominal ace Josh Beckett returns to action, swapping places with the on-the-shelf reliefer Francisco Rodriguez. With the Orioles off to a fast start before they inevitably fade away to 4th, if not 5th place, Sherill's been racking up some solid opportunities, something that's not guaranteed of K-Rod no matter how well the Angels may do. As mentioned, Beckett's return makes the solid if not dazzling Bonser expendable, as his upside is apparently not as great as the 8 other starters on the staff. Bonser will wind up with the Broken Angels next week; with Kelly Johnson fully operational, and currently tallying a hit in every game he's played this season, Jose Lopez will be dropped.
The Consummate Bastards
+Heath Bell
-Rafael Betancourt and $1
A set-up man knockdown merry-go-round. While also the realm of LOOGYs and ROOGYs and schlubs and scrubs and washed up starters, late inning relievers can fall into one of three categories: the usually overlooked talent that comes out of nowhere to make a name for himself in one brilliant campaign that allows him to stick around for a few years based on that one overhyped year and the subsequent albatross of a contract quickly handed out (Scott Eyre, Scott Linebrink); the hard thrower with all the talent but none of the execution, who just has to pan out eventually, but never does (Kyle Farnsworth); and finally the dependable bridge to the closer who won't lose his status as The Man no matter how poorly he performs, or how long and how effective the set up man is (Scot Shields). Rafael Betancourt would appear to fall into category #3, while it's too early to know exactly where Heath Bell will wind up. Trevor Hoffman can probably keep going for another 2-3 years, as he's never relied upon throwing cheese and his home ballpark can cover his ass.
Broken Angels
+Dana Eveland
-Chuck James and $2
As mentioned above, the BA's will likely make a move for longtime favorite Boof Bonser as soon as next week. No matter, though, as the Braves' optioning of James to the minors and John Lackey's current disabledness left the BA's with only 6 healthy pitchers, one of whom - John Danks - just happened to be rocked to the tune of -1.5 points before the transaction deadline. Eveland's got more potential to put up the big numbers than either fellow lefties James or Danks, with 406 K in 413 minor league IP; he was a 10th round pick in last year's draft.
Tip of the Week
As we were speaking of relievers and the Braves...Peter Moylan, the only name listed under "Notable Persons" section in the Wikipedia entry for Attadale, Australia, is the #1 contender to
replace Rafael Soriano while he's on the DL, for however long that may be. For what it's worth, he'll be under the command of Bobby Cox and the Braves, who have been able to take theretofore no-names like Kerry Ligtenberg, Mark Wohlers, John Rocker and Greg McMichael and turn them into 'closers' with the potential to rack up 30+ saves in a season before they shuffle back to anonymity.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
This Week In DCBA #1 - Open Up And Say Ahhh
1 week down, 22 more of them to go. If you're really good about it, you can add a week or two. 25 weeks of trying to keep up with 750 major league players, not to mention the notable minor leaguers who could pop up and be this year's Ryan Braun. But enough about the future; if I were any good with prognosticating, I wouldn't find myself 0-1 now, would I? With my player analysis skills already called into question, let us now proceed with my recaps of the Week 1 performances.
Slipstream Starlings (318.5) @ Da Prop Joes (268.5)
The 2007 DCBA champeens had all the right moves to start out the new season. Keeper Utley putting up a league-high 39 points; first-rounder Hernandez pitching in with 37.5 points; and Sleeper of the Year candidate and Eastern import Fukudome taking a bow for his 30-point debut performance. Further testament to the Starlings' managerial mastery was the benchwork of superfluous secondBASEman Polanco and OUTfielder "Upchuck" Buck, combining for a woeful 2-44 'performance' that Robert Mapplethorpe would find obscene.
A tough matchup in Week 1 wasn't exactly what Da Prop Joes needed to put their woeful 2007 behind them. Then again, their 268.5-point output would've only allowed them to beat one other team had the matchups been different. Despite putting up quality offensive totals - doubling the Starlings in homers 10-5, and staying with them overall on the hitting side 161-160 - the old adage that pitching wins championships held true, as their ball-tossing men barely cracked the triple-digit barrier with a league-low 108.5. Save those arms for pitching, fellas, not ball-tossing.
Broken Angels (272) @ The Consummate Bastards (297)
Yet another case of a lackey of pitching leading to defeat. The Broken Angels, like Da Prop Joes in their game, out-homered their opponents 9-4, but fell off the victory pace on the pitching slab. The solid relief corps, usually a hallmark of The Broken Angels franchise, didn't disappoint, picking up 4 saves and a win, but the 14% Quality Start conversion rate won't win them too many games, unless they can somehow start 20 games per week. Like I said, it won't win them too many games.
The Consummate Bastards rolled into 2008 without a name change - win, lose or draw? Nevertheless, they're the same old Bastards that you've come to know and compete in the same league with - the young guns. The 3 players over 30 (to use a nice round number; I'm sure that bar could be lowered to at least 27 but can't be assed to look) each were outplayed by their counterparts - Ortiz by 5, Betancourt by 17.5, and Percival by 6. Youth will be served. With a win. And 3 forms of ID.
Festivus Miracles (362.5) @ All The Wrong Cubs (263)
In a stroke of genius, the Festivus Miracles started two secondbasemen this week - one at DH. And what do you know, it was the optimal move. Escobar put up a team-high 29 points at the keystone and Brian Roberts served well as DH with a solid 22 points. The pitching staff, anchored by Cy Young Award winners Peavy and Halladay, as well as multiple top-5 finishers Hudson, Oswalt, Nathan and Hoffman (call now for their ((info))((tapes))), performed up to past peak performance and led the league with 195.5 pitching points.
When All The Wrong Cubs took to the field, they didn't perform all that horribly. The problem was making sure that they made it to the field in the first place, as starting lineup clogger-uppers Molina and Marcum put up nada and nearly 'helped' ATWC lose by over 100. (So close - "first place" and "All The Wrong Cubs" almost in the same sentence!) Despite an 0-5 W/L record from their pitchers, they put up a solid 66% Quality Start conversion rate, and the hitters chipped in by leading the league in singles. Of course, getting on base with singles while allowing your opponent to rack up the extra-base hits to notch RBI isn't going to help the cause. Unless the cause is losing. Bizarro!
Not So Fragile Flowers (311) @ Bucketheads (363.5)
The Flowers scored a number of moral victories this week: a record 11 starts; an atypical display of power - 7 of the 8 regulars with homers (V. Martinez is irregular because: a) switch-hitter, b) played 1 game, got hurt, missed the rest of the week, c) not enough fiber); the 4th-most points scored (which, if the season ended today, would land them in the playoffs). They scored an appropriately corresponding number of actual losses this week also: 11 starts netted them only a 4-5 W/L record and 5 QS; they were still outhomered 12-9; their closer didn't even enter a game 'to get some work' (I'm sure the Marlins are saving him for the playoffs); and...well, they lost.
Bucketheads (07's Jackanapes, 06's Bucketheads, 05's The Bucketheads, & 04's The Smashed Hats - lesson: definite articles win championships), with their Unstoppable Forces cellar-dwelling still fresh in mind, came out of the gates early and often to claim the points lead after 1 week. If the season ended today etc. etc. Powering the attack was the pitching antics of B. Sheets with 54 points. After averaging 134 IP over the last 3 seasons, Sheets went for 15 in week 1 and is on pace for 354. Something's...got...to...give.
The Darned Sox (302) @ Manriques (288)
Prior to the start of the games, CBS Sportsline kindly provided a "preview" which had the final score down as 373-357. While remarkably close to accurate in the margin of victory department, the totals were just a bit high. The pitching was more FTD than TDS, as the starters delivered 8 Quality Starts out of 9 starting performances. Unfortunately, the reliefers didn't get the gameplan, as they were 0-1 in save opportunities, giving TDS a whopping 5 total points from the pen.
Slipstream Starlings (318.5) @ Da Prop Joes (268.5)
The 2007 DCBA champeens had all the right moves to start out the new season. Keeper Utley putting up a league-high 39 points; first-rounder Hernandez pitching in with 37.5 points; and Sleeper of the Year candidate and Eastern import Fukudome taking a bow for his 30-point debut performance. Further testament to the Starlings' managerial mastery was the benchwork of superfluous secondBASEman Polanco and OUTfielder "Upchuck" Buck, combining for a woeful 2-44 'performance' that Robert Mapplethorpe would find obscene.
A tough matchup in Week 1 wasn't exactly what Da Prop Joes needed to put their woeful 2007 behind them. Then again, their 268.5-point output would've only allowed them to beat one other team had the matchups been different. Despite putting up quality offensive totals - doubling the Starlings in homers 10-5, and staying with them overall on the hitting side 161-160 - the old adage that pitching wins championships held true, as their ball-tossing men barely cracked the triple-digit barrier with a league-low 108.5. Save those arms for pitching, fellas, not ball-tossing.
Broken Angels (272) @ The Consummate Bastards (297)
Yet another case of a lackey of pitching leading to defeat. The Broken Angels, like Da Prop Joes in their game, out-homered their opponents 9-4, but fell off the victory pace on the pitching slab. The solid relief corps, usually a hallmark of The Broken Angels franchise, didn't disappoint, picking up 4 saves and a win, but the 14% Quality Start conversion rate won't win them too many games, unless they can somehow start 20 games per week. Like I said, it won't win them too many games.
The Consummate Bastards rolled into 2008 without a name change - win, lose or draw? Nevertheless, they're the same old Bastards that you've come to know and compete in the same league with - the young guns. The 3 players over 30 (to use a nice round number; I'm sure that bar could be lowered to at least 27 but can't be assed to look) each were outplayed by their counterparts - Ortiz by 5, Betancourt by 17.5, and Percival by 6. Youth will be served. With a win. And 3 forms of ID.
Festivus Miracles (362.5) @ All The Wrong Cubs (263)
In a stroke of genius, the Festivus Miracles started two secondbasemen this week - one at DH. And what do you know, it was the optimal move. Escobar put up a team-high 29 points at the keystone and Brian Roberts served well as DH with a solid 22 points. The pitching staff, anchored by Cy Young Award winners Peavy and Halladay, as well as multiple top-5 finishers Hudson, Oswalt, Nathan and Hoffman (call now for their ((info))((tapes))), performed up to past peak performance and led the league with 195.5 pitching points.
When All The Wrong Cubs took to the field, they didn't perform all that horribly. The problem was making sure that they made it to the field in the first place, as starting lineup clogger-uppers Molina and Marcum put up nada and nearly 'helped' ATWC lose by over 100. (So close - "first place" and "All The Wrong Cubs" almost in the same sentence!) Despite an 0-5 W/L record from their pitchers, they put up a solid 66% Quality Start conversion rate, and the hitters chipped in by leading the league in singles. Of course, getting on base with singles while allowing your opponent to rack up the extra-base hits to notch RBI isn't going to help the cause. Unless the cause is losing. Bizarro!
Not So Fragile Flowers (311) @ Bucketheads (363.5)
The Flowers scored a number of moral victories this week: a record 11 starts; an atypical display of power - 7 of the 8 regulars with homers (V. Martinez is irregular because: a) switch-hitter, b) played 1 game, got hurt, missed the rest of the week, c) not enough fiber); the 4th-most points scored (which, if the season ended today, would land them in the playoffs). They scored an appropriately corresponding number of actual losses this week also: 11 starts netted them only a 4-5 W/L record and 5 QS; they were still outhomered 12-9; their closer didn't even enter a game 'to get some work' (I'm sure the Marlins are saving him for the playoffs); and...well, they lost.
Bucketheads (07's Jackanapes, 06's Bucketheads, 05's The Bucketheads, & 04's The Smashed Hats - lesson: definite articles win championships), with their Unstoppable Forces cellar-dwelling still fresh in mind, came out of the gates early and often to claim the points lead after 1 week. If the season ended today etc. etc. Powering the attack was the pitching antics of B. Sheets with 54 points. After averaging 134 IP over the last 3 seasons, Sheets went for 15 in week 1 and is on pace for 354. Something's...got...to...give.
The Darned Sox (302) @ Manriques (288)
Prior to the start of the games, CBS Sportsline kindly provided a "preview" which had the final score down as 373-357. While remarkably close to accurate in the margin of victory department, the totals were just a bit high. The pitching was more FTD than TDS, as the starters delivered 8 Quality Starts out of 9 starting performances. Unfortunately, the reliefers didn't get the gameplan, as they were 0-1 in save opportunities, giving TDS a whopping 5 total points from the pen.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
TransAction Monday
Welcome back to TransAction Monday, DCBA'ers. Commissioner Emeritus Johnston, here. I may no longer have any vote on the esteemed Council of the Rusted Kuntz, but that doesn't prevent me from taking out the coup on you, dear leaguemates.
And let's start with the man in charge, the man who is collecting our league fees, Mr. Manriques, who spent $5 (fantasy) on Joakim "Leaf" Soria, closer of the First Week Champs: The Kansas City Royals. Soria had a pretty remarkable 34 points last week (3 Saves, 7 K in 4 IP, 0.0000000 ERA). I'm not sure if the Royals can continue to win, but if they produce more save opportunities, Soria seems like 'da Man[riques]. Manny Corpse-Ass was dropped to make way for Soria.
The other big spender on the week was The Darned Sox, who pocketed CBS Sports coverboy Clayton Kershaw for $4, while dropping the extraneous and DL-bound Chad "NoCo" Cordero. Kershaw was last seen sitting next to a man in a gabardine suit (who may or may not be a spy) riding a Greyhound to Jacksonville, FLA, where he'll spend most of the summer toiling as a Sun (Dodgers' AA Affiliate). But if and when Kershaw gets called up to the Show, and if the National League hitters are anything like the Single & Double-A hitters Kershaw has faced over the last two seasons: Look Out. We're talking 217 Ks in 159 IP (12.29 K/9) with a 2.72 ERA. Will the Sox have the patience to wait it out until he provides some current value? Ticktock, ticktock, ticktock.
The Sox also picked up Eric Gagne ($1) for Tim Wakefield in a move that can best be described as Garbage In/Garbage Out, or, as the kids say: GIGO.
Da RoboProp Joes, owner of the First Overall RoboPick in the 2008 DCBA RoboDraft, put the RoboBid Machine on the 'WayBack' setting and picked up some Keith Foulke for $1. (What, was Billy Koch not available?) Foulke posted 33 points last week, netting 3 Holds and 6 K's in 5 IP. One can only really understand this move when one examines da roster of da Joes: RP: Joe Borowski. But alas, da Joes didn't even start Foulke; JoBo is there right now in the starting lineup. Just look. There he is, right next to the -3.5 points. Brade Lidge, who is now OFF the DL, was let go by da Joes to make room for Foulke.
Da Joes also picked up Mr. March 31 - April 6, Xavier Nady ($1), dropping real-life teammate Adam LaRoche. Nady's 39-point first week lead all hitters (tied with Chase Utley). It was worth a dollar to see if Nady remains hot.
The Slipstream Starlings picked up Chicago Public Radio's Carlos "Hernandez" Gomez for $1, releasing Travis Buck back to the wild. Gomez, a Twin, apparently is eligible at LF, CF and RF. CBS Sports lists his two greatest fantasy attributes: ultra-confident and super-speedy. Time for some new scoring categories!
The Consummate Bastages are the first team in fantasy history to pick up a coach, nabbing Yankees bench coach (and former Royals skipper) Tony Pena ($1), a career .260/.309/.364 hitter. Apparently he's eligible at RP, as he replaces Troy Percival as the Bastards starting reliever. Now I've seen everything.
And the Broken Angels drop minor-league back-up 3B/LF Josh Fields for bench fodder Jose Lopez ($1).
See you next week!
And let's start with the man in charge, the man who is collecting our league fees, Mr. Manriques, who spent $5 (fantasy) on Joakim "Leaf" Soria, closer of the First Week Champs: The Kansas City Royals. Soria had a pretty remarkable 34 points last week (3 Saves, 7 K in 4 IP, 0.0000000 ERA). I'm not sure if the Royals can continue to win, but if they produce more save opportunities, Soria seems like 'da Man[riques]. Manny Corpse-Ass was dropped to make way for Soria.
The other big spender on the week was The Darned Sox, who pocketed CBS Sports coverboy Clayton Kershaw for $4, while dropping the extraneous and DL-bound Chad "NoCo" Cordero. Kershaw was last seen sitting next to a man in a gabardine suit (who may or may not be a spy) riding a Greyhound to Jacksonville, FLA, where he'll spend most of the summer toiling as a Sun (Dodgers' AA Affiliate). But if and when Kershaw gets called up to the Show, and if the National League hitters are anything like the Single & Double-A hitters Kershaw has faced over the last two seasons: Look Out. We're talking 217 Ks in 159 IP (12.29 K/9) with a 2.72 ERA. Will the Sox have the patience to wait it out until he provides some current value? Ticktock, ticktock, ticktock.
The Sox also picked up Eric Gagne ($1) for Tim Wakefield in a move that can best be described as Garbage In/Garbage Out, or, as the kids say: GIGO.
Da RoboProp Joes, owner of the First Overall RoboPick in the 2008 DCBA RoboDraft, put the RoboBid Machine on the 'WayBack' setting and picked up some Keith Foulke for $1. (What, was Billy Koch not available?) Foulke posted 33 points last week, netting 3 Holds and 6 K's in 5 IP. One can only really understand this move when one examines da roster of da Joes: RP: Joe Borowski. But alas, da Joes didn't even start Foulke; JoBo is there right now in the starting lineup. Just look. There he is, right next to the -3.5 points. Brade Lidge, who is now OFF the DL, was let go by da Joes to make room for Foulke.
Da Joes also picked up Mr. March 31 - April 6, Xavier Nady ($1), dropping real-life teammate Adam LaRoche. Nady's 39-point first week lead all hitters (tied with Chase Utley). It was worth a dollar to see if Nady remains hot.
The Slipstream Starlings picked up Chicago Public Radio's Carlos "Hernandez" Gomez for $1, releasing Travis Buck back to the wild. Gomez, a Twin, apparently is eligible at LF, CF and RF. CBS Sports lists his two greatest fantasy attributes: ultra-confident and super-speedy. Time for some new scoring categories!
The Consummate Bastages are the first team in fantasy history to pick up a coach, nabbing Yankees bench coach (and former Royals skipper) Tony Pena ($1), a career .260/.309/.364 hitter. Apparently he's eligible at RP, as he replaces Troy Percival as the Bastards starting reliever. Now I've seen everything.
And the Broken Angels drop minor-league back-up 3B/LF Josh Fields for bench fodder Jose Lopez ($1).
See you next week!
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Draft Review (Part V)
Apologies to all for the delay, especially to The Consummate Bastards and Slipstream Starlings. As a measure of making amends, you will both be awarded wins for week 1. Now, onto the conclusion of Draft Review 2008.
The Consummate Bastards
In some sort of lapse, oversight, or misunderstanding, The Consummate Bastards find themselves with David Ortiz, Rafael Betancourt and Troy Percival on their roster. This will surely have to be rectified by the end of the season, one would think. What's the signficance, you might ask? They're over 30 years old, the only 3 such cottontops gumming it up on the roster. Soon enough, perhaps, the DH duties will be handed over full-time to Billy Butler and Ortiz will be traded, for a pair of young relievers who weren't even around in 1982 to be poisoned by tainted Tylenol capsules, to complete the cycle.
Best Pick: Corey C. Hart
Worst Pick: Troy Percival
Steal: Billy Butler
Steal: Billy Butler
Slipstream Starlings
To the victors go the 10th pick of the odd-numbered rounds and the 1st pick of the even-numbered round. As an expansion team busting through to the championship in only their second year of existence, they're the DCBA equivalent of the Marlins, or maybe the Diamondbacks, or perhaps even the Rockies (except for the winning at the end part). What was the key to their victory: the players or the management? This year will go a ways toward answering that question, as 2/3 of this year's squad has changed from last year's. For my part, though, I'm going to say it was management last year. That's right folks, your players didn't fail you, you failed your players.
Best Pick: Troy Tulowitzki
Worst Pick: Homer Bailey
Steal: Kosuke Fukudome
Best Pick: Troy Tulowitzki
Worst Pick: Homer Bailey
Steal: Kosuke Fukudome
Friday, April 04, 2008
Transaction Thursday
Afternoon, gentlemen. Here's a roundup of the weekly transgressions and gressions in this week in DCBA baseball. Not a week into the season and already people are getting their pink slips. That said, no transactions this week were the mysterious free, red kind. Just straight up honest purchases.
Reigning kings, The Slipstream Starlings, dropped 2B Plaicido Domingo Polanco to make room for Franklin Esai Morales, SP. $1. CBS Sportsline calls Morales a work in progress for NL only leagues. Polanco is a decent enough 2B for a league as deep as DCBA. But his bat went cold coming out of Spring Training. Also, rotating out was one time fantasy stud Pedro Martinez who "has a hamstring" in the vernacular, was replaced with Brian Bannister, flavor of the month, $1.
The Fairly Tough Flowers dropped Jonathan O. Sanchez to make room for Kevin Gregg, closer. $1. Sanchez would've been a deep cut in even the deepest of leagues. Gregg at least closes.
The Bastards couldn't stand pat with their hand either: Adam Jones' off field antics got him a trip to the principal's office. In his stead will be Evan Longoria, 3B. $1. The Bastards moved a far away prospect for a less far away prospect. I call it one of the better deals this week, but not the best:
Da Prop Joes dropped Aubrey Huff who's my age and apparently over the hill. Carlos Silva, SP, $1, takes his place and will fill out the back of the rotation. GONK!
Bucketheads, sans definite article, dropped chronic disappointment JD Drew for the chronically mundane Nick Johnson, $3. This would be a good deal if it wasn't for that price. I'm saying Buckets got beat.
All the Wrong Cubs win the award for most active team this week by moving three players! First, Nate McLouth, CF, replaced Chad Gaudin, SP for $1. McLouth will likely get playing time on a shitty team. He might pitch in, so to speak, if he gets hot. Gaudin is nicked up and had no reason to be on a DCBA roster.
TRADE!!!
All the Wrong Cubs send LF Carlos Lee to The Darnedsox for SPs Tom Gorzelanny and Chien-Ming Wang. Both teams addressed needs. An insider tells us that the Sox are banking on their knack for finding pitching during the season to compensate. Wang'll get wins just by being there. Gorzelanny... who knows. Lee should put up fine numbers in a park where most of the DCBA managers could hit one to the wall. Shrewd and practical. Clearly...
Reigning kings, The Slipstream Starlings, dropped 2B Plaicido Domingo Polanco to make room for Franklin Esai Morales, SP. $1. CBS Sportsline calls Morales a work in progress for NL only leagues. Polanco is a decent enough 2B for a league as deep as DCBA. But his bat went cold coming out of Spring Training. Also, rotating out was one time fantasy stud Pedro Martinez who "has a hamstring" in the vernacular, was replaced with Brian Bannister, flavor of the month, $1.
The Fairly Tough Flowers dropped Jonathan O. Sanchez to make room for Kevin Gregg, closer. $1. Sanchez would've been a deep cut in even the deepest of leagues. Gregg at least closes.
The Bastards couldn't stand pat with their hand either: Adam Jones' off field antics got him a trip to the principal's office. In his stead will be Evan Longoria, 3B. $1. The Bastards moved a far away prospect for a less far away prospect. I call it one of the better deals this week, but not the best:
Da Prop Joes dropped Aubrey Huff who's my age and apparently over the hill. Carlos Silva, SP, $1, takes his place and will fill out the back of the rotation. GONK!
Bucketheads, sans definite article, dropped chronic disappointment JD Drew for the chronically mundane Nick Johnson, $3. This would be a good deal if it wasn't for that price. I'm saying Buckets got beat.
All the Wrong Cubs win the award for most active team this week by moving three players! First, Nate McLouth, CF, replaced Chad Gaudin, SP for $1. McLouth will likely get playing time on a shitty team. He might pitch in, so to speak, if he gets hot. Gaudin is nicked up and had no reason to be on a DCBA roster.
TRADE!!!
All the Wrong Cubs send LF Carlos Lee to The Darnedsox for SPs Tom Gorzelanny and Chien-Ming Wang. Both teams addressed needs. An insider tells us that the Sox are banking on their knack for finding pitching during the season to compensate. Wang'll get wins just by being there. Gorzelanny... who knows. Lee should put up fine numbers in a park where most of the DCBA managers could hit one to the wall. Shrewd and practical. Clearly...
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Draft Review (Part IV)
Broken Angels
As the winningest team in league history (46-26, .639), there's not much more for the Broken Angels to accomplish. Except more winning, and specifically, winning in the playoffs, where they're the losingest team in league history (1-3, .250). This leads, of course, to the indisputable fact: No DCBA team with Paul Konerko has ever won the championship. Nevertheless, teams with Paul Konerko have always made the playoffs. So, the B.A. M.O. is consistent. Also signed up for a return trip with the Angels are Brad Penny, Aaron Rowand, Ubaldo Jiminez, Jose Valverde, and Chuck James. Is this the year that their theme song, "Don't Stop Believing," plays all the way through, or will it last right up until the playoffs, when the screen abruptly cuts to black?
Best Pick: Javier Vazquez
Worst Pick: Josh Fields
Steal: Kelly Johnson
All The Wrong Cubs
Having been denied a playoff entry by mere points in 2006, All The Wrong Cubs decided that playing for the wildcard slot wasn't anything to mess with, and promptly set out to claim the divisional crown. This year they tried yet another tack: auto-draft! How did that work out? Thus far, 6 of the draftees - a full 1/3 taken - have been reassigned to the free agent pool. Their mission? Hitch on to another team and bring them down. When man and machine combine forces, they're nearly unstoppable, and All The Wrong Cubs are geniuses.
Best Pick: Adrian Gonzalez
Worst Pick: See above
Steal: Gil Meche
As the winningest team in league history (46-26, .639), there's not much more for the Broken Angels to accomplish. Except more winning, and specifically, winning in the playoffs, where they're the losingest team in league history (1-3, .250). This leads, of course, to the indisputable fact: No DCBA team with Paul Konerko has ever won the championship. Nevertheless, teams with Paul Konerko have always made the playoffs. So, the B.A. M.O. is consistent. Also signed up for a return trip with the Angels are Brad Penny, Aaron Rowand, Ubaldo Jiminez, Jose Valverde, and Chuck James. Is this the year that their theme song, "Don't Stop Believing," plays all the way through, or will it last right up until the playoffs, when the screen abruptly cuts to black?
Best Pick: Javier Vazquez
Worst Pick: Josh Fields
Steal: Kelly Johnson
All The Wrong Cubs
Having been denied a playoff entry by mere points in 2006, All The Wrong Cubs decided that playing for the wildcard slot wasn't anything to mess with, and promptly set out to claim the divisional crown. This year they tried yet another tack: auto-draft! How did that work out? Thus far, 6 of the draftees - a full 1/3 taken - have been reassigned to the free agent pool. Their mission? Hitch on to another team and bring them down. When man and machine combine forces, they're nearly unstoppable, and All The Wrong Cubs are geniuses.
Best Pick: Adrian Gonzalez
Worst Pick: See above
Steal: Gil Meche
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Transaction Thursday
Welly, welly, welly, well. Viddy this: A new season of baseball, my little droogies.
Not content with the big player movement that was the draft, the DCBA'ers made 10 moves in the few days since Sunday's draft. Lucky me, I get to summarize it.
The big offender were All the Wrong Cubs. Hearing that Jarrod "Seasoned" Saltalamacchiavelli lost a roster spot to Gerald Laird and got sent to AAA OKC, ATC dropped him and got Bengie Molina. Tit for Tat, $1. RF Jeremy Hermida got replaced by SP Carlos Villanueva, $1. Villanueva might be the kinda pick up where ATC turns shit into watermelons. Else, he's just got some shit. By the way, Villanueva's one of those dudes that wears his hats all crooked. Chad Gaudin, SP, replaces Aaron "Hank" Hill. Hill will likely make it to a DCBA roster again this year. Shaun Marcum, another SP, replaces David DeJesus. Apparently, ATC realized they missed those middle rounds where everyone nabs pitchers. Longshot Bartolo Colon replaces Luke Scott who was only the third RF dropped by ATC. All players were acquired for a measly dollar.
Bolstering Da Prop Joes' bullpen will be Sweaty Joe Borowski who replaces SS Johnny "Powell" Peralta. $1.
The Slipstream Starlings dropped prospect Homer Bailey for some dutch or danish guy named Jair Jurrjens, a SP who just made my spellcheck go nuts. We'll see if the majick pitching water in Atlanta does its work on the already gifted Jurgens.
Manriques, which is french for anal balm, picked up two people: Micah Owings and Scott Baker. Consider those last round pickups. Owings could be serviceable.
Not content with the big player movement that was the draft, the DCBA'ers made 10 moves in the few days since Sunday's draft. Lucky me, I get to summarize it.
The big offender were All the Wrong Cubs. Hearing that Jarrod "Seasoned" Saltalamacchiavelli lost a roster spot to Gerald Laird and got sent to AAA OKC, ATC dropped him and got Bengie Molina. Tit for Tat, $1. RF Jeremy Hermida got replaced by SP Carlos Villanueva, $1. Villanueva might be the kinda pick up where ATC turns shit into watermelons. Else, he's just got some shit. By the way, Villanueva's one of those dudes that wears his hats all crooked. Chad Gaudin, SP, replaces Aaron "Hank" Hill. Hill will likely make it to a DCBA roster again this year. Shaun Marcum, another SP, replaces David DeJesus. Apparently, ATC realized they missed those middle rounds where everyone nabs pitchers. Longshot Bartolo Colon replaces Luke Scott who was only the third RF dropped by ATC. All players were acquired for a measly dollar.
Bolstering Da Prop Joes' bullpen will be Sweaty Joe Borowski who replaces SS Johnny "Powell" Peralta. $1.
The Slipstream Starlings dropped prospect Homer Bailey for some dutch or danish guy named Jair Jurrjens, a SP who just made my spellcheck go nuts. We'll see if the majick pitching water in Atlanta does its work on the already gifted Jurgens.
Manriques, which is french for anal balm, picked up two people: Micah Owings and Scott Baker. Consider those last round pickups. Owings could be serviceable.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Draft Review (Part III)
Festivus Miracles
After leading the league in steals last season, can they repeat? After three straight seasons of finishing 12-11, will they get over the hump? The answers: probably and maybe. Adding Carl Crawford, Brian Roberts, Jacoby Ellsbury and Shane Victorino, the Festivi are odds-on favorites to take home the SB crown. If you consider that getting on base in order to steal requires earning at least one point in the first place, and being on second in most instances after the theft gives them a better chance to nab another point with a run scored, then the Miracles are in good position to perhaps snag another win or two and steal a playoff berth. Verdict: Guilty of grand larceny.
Best Pick: Carl Crawford
Worst Pick: Trevor Hoffman
Steal: James Loney
Not So Fragile Flowers
The Notsos went into the final week last season with an opportunity to make the playoffs if they were able to knock off their long-time rivals All The Wrong Cubs. Alas, they were no unstoppable force and ceded the divisional title and playoff entry to ATWC. Is this the year that they can shed the notso label? That's more likely than them shedding the fragile tag, as they've already seen 2nd round pick Curtis Granderson hit the DL to open the season and 3b Adrian Beltre "probably will play the entire season with his left thumb wrapped in a bandage" (not as a political statement).
Confining it to the 3 picks manually selected -
Best Pick: Joe Blanton
Worst Pick: Scott Olsen
Steal: Chris Duncan
After leading the league in steals last season, can they repeat? After three straight seasons of finishing 12-11, will they get over the hump? The answers: probably and maybe. Adding Carl Crawford, Brian Roberts, Jacoby Ellsbury and Shane Victorino, the Festivi are odds-on favorites to take home the SB crown. If you consider that getting on base in order to steal requires earning at least one point in the first place, and being on second in most instances after the theft gives them a better chance to nab another point with a run scored, then the Miracles are in good position to perhaps snag another win or two and steal a playoff berth. Verdict: Guilty of grand larceny.
Best Pick: Carl Crawford
Worst Pick: Trevor Hoffman
Steal: James Loney
Not So Fragile Flowers
The Notsos went into the final week last season with an opportunity to make the playoffs if they were able to knock off their long-time rivals All The Wrong Cubs. Alas, they were no unstoppable force and ceded the divisional title and playoff entry to ATWC. Is this the year that they can shed the notso label? That's more likely than them shedding the fragile tag, as they've already seen 2nd round pick Curtis Granderson hit the DL to open the season and 3b Adrian Beltre "probably will play the entire season with his left thumb wrapped in a bandage" (not as a political statement).
Confining it to the 3 picks manually selected -
Best Pick: Joe Blanton
Worst Pick: Scott Olsen
Steal: Chris Duncan
Draft Review (Part II)
Manriques
After winning the championship in 2006, the market corrected for the former Naps and they slid back into the bottom half of the standings. While trading away their first-round pick may not have been the best thing for them to have done, subsequently drafting B.J. Ryan and his 4.1 IP with their first pick in the 2nd round couldn't have helped matters much either. That's what leading analysts call sub-prime mortgaging the future. If they lose both Kerry Wood and Carlos Marmol this time around, that could only mean one of possibly a thousand things, but most likely: closing pitchers ain't their specialty.
Worst Pick: Andrew Miller
Steal: Rich HardenThe Darned Sox
After a rookie season in which they inherited a roster filled with only 1 Red Sox and no less than 8 Brewers on the team - 33% of the roster - they nearly managed to flip that around, finishing the season with only 1 Brewer and 6 Red Sox. For that effort, they finished one game short of finishing over .500 for the first time in franchise history. This year, they seem to have split the difference - 0 Brewers and 3 Red Sox. At the very least, they have 3 of the starting pitchers from the Red Sox who won't start the season on the DL.
After a rookie season in which they inherited a roster filled with only 1 Red Sox and no less than 8 Brewers on the team - 33% of the roster - they nearly managed to flip that around, finishing the season with only 1 Brewer and 6 Red Sox. For that effort, they finished one game short of finishing over .500 for the first time in franchise history. This year, they seem to have split the difference - 0 Brewers and 3 Red Sox. At the very least, they have 3 of the starting pitchers from the Red Sox who won't start the season on the DL.
Best Pick: Derrek Lee
Worst Pick: Kevin Slowey
Steal: Tie - with ifs and buts. Already having solid corners in Lee and Atkins, a solid chance was taken with Carlos Delgado and/or Hank Blalock posting numbers as good as they've shown they're capable of producing in the past.
Worst Pick: Kevin Slowey
Steal: Tie - with ifs and buts. Already having solid corners in Lee and Atkins, a solid chance was taken with Carlos Delgado and/or Hank Blalock posting numbers as good as they've shown they're capable of producing in the past.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Draft Review - 2008 (Part I)
Once again, after finding another lovely late-March Sunday morning/afternoon to spoil by sitting in front of the dull glow of the computer screen, we've had ourselves a draft. The first pitch of the season has been thrown, so we're going to look at 2 teams each day in a review of the week that was leading to the weeks that will have been.
Da Prop Joes:
Following up on prior drafts which were managed from Baghdad and Washington, D.C., respectively, this year Da Prop Joes decided to make their picks from deep inside the heart of a top-secret experimental computer located underneath the fortified bunkers located in a mountain in a place that can't be named. (Disneyworld: Space Mountain.) It's highly unlikely that they could do worse than last year's historically awful 3-20 record, but no matter what happens on the field, they can consider themselves winners of the first round, having taken Mark Teixeira #1 overall; this forced The Bucketheads to take their second-choice (Lance Berkman), consequently making the Manriques to go to their second-choice (Manny Ramirez). Well-played, supercomputer.
Best Pick: Teixeira
Worst Pick: Huff
Steal: Bonds (if he finds a team)
The Bucketheads
As mentioned above, finding themselves forced to go down on their wishlist from the start, the Bucketheads nevertheless recovered to "settle" for a player who ranks 5th in OBP and 9th in SLG among active players. With their second pick they had to "settle" for a player who ranks 11th in OBP and 13th in SLG among active players. With their next two picks, they were only able to pick up a shortstop-eligible firstbaseman and a future Hall of Fame pitcher. That's some tough luck. Maybe they'll have to "settle" for Hideki Kuroda and Ian Kennedy being Rookies of the Year.
Best Pick: Berkman
Worst Pick: Burnett
Steal: Guillen
Da Prop Joes:
Following up on prior drafts which were managed from Baghdad and Washington, D.C., respectively, this year Da Prop Joes decided to make their picks from deep inside the heart of a top-secret experimental computer located underneath the fortified bunkers located in a mountain in a place that can't be named. (Disneyworld: Space Mountain.) It's highly unlikely that they could do worse than last year's historically awful 3-20 record, but no matter what happens on the field, they can consider themselves winners of the first round, having taken Mark Teixeira #1 overall; this forced The Bucketheads to take their second-choice (Lance Berkman), consequently making the Manriques to go to their second-choice (Manny Ramirez). Well-played, supercomputer.
Best Pick: Teixeira
Worst Pick: Huff
Steal: Bonds (if he finds a team)
The Bucketheads
As mentioned above, finding themselves forced to go down on their wishlist from the start, the Bucketheads nevertheless recovered to "settle" for a player who ranks 5th in OBP and 9th in SLG among active players. With their second pick they had to "settle" for a player who ranks 11th in OBP and 13th in SLG among active players. With their next two picks, they were only able to pick up a shortstop-eligible firstbaseman and a future Hall of Fame pitcher. That's some tough luck. Maybe they'll have to "settle" for Hideki Kuroda and Ian Kennedy being Rookies of the Year.
Best Pick: Berkman
Worst Pick: Burnett
Steal: Guillen
Monday, January 28, 2008
The Trading Post
Howdy do for 2008, and boy howdy, what a start to it!
First, Turner Classic Bastards, as part of the almost-championship dismantling, trade stalwart starter, longtime Bastard, top 2008 fantasy/NL Cy Young award winner and scourge of curbside check-in Jake Peavy to Festivus Miracles for The Hebrew Hammer, who has as of yet to play one full season in these our major leagues. We may already have a winner for the 2008 Lyle Overpay Award.
My thoughts on this transaction?
Secondly, The Country's Bastards (Yogurt), in a kind of alarming, mostly ill-conceived and like as not illogical about-face part ways with their 2005 first round pick (after potential 30-game winner Randy Johnson) and one-man wrecking crew (he'll have to be this year) Albert Pujols, Friend of the Mentally Challenged. Don't Jesus' hem him in! In return for this unique, Hall of Fame -bound jerque, Manriques (v. January 2008) give up The Best Pitcher In Baseball, Johan Santana, freeing themselves from the trade rumor fatigue and solidifying arguably the best keeper infield since 2007.
My thoughts on this transaction?
First, Turner Classic Bastards, as part of the almost-championship dismantling, trade stalwart starter, longtime Bastard, top 2008 fantasy/NL Cy Young award winner and scourge of curbside check-in Jake Peavy to Festivus Miracles for The Hebrew Hammer, who has as of yet to play one full season in these our major leagues. We may already have a winner for the 2008 Lyle Overpay Award.
My thoughts on this transaction?
Secondly, The Country's Bastards (Yogurt), in a kind of alarming, mostly ill-conceived and like as not illogical about-face part ways with their 2005 first round pick (after potential 30-game winner Randy Johnson) and one-man wrecking crew (he'll have to be this year) Albert Pujols, Friend of the Mentally Challenged. Don't Jesus' hem him in! In return for this unique, Hall of Fame -bound jerque, Manriques (v. January 2008) give up The Best Pitcher In Baseball, Johan Santana, freeing themselves from the trade rumor fatigue and solidifying arguably the best keeper infield since 2007.
My thoughts on this transaction?
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Draft Order
In the event draft picks are bandied about in trade discussions, listed below is the 2008 draft order.
1. Da Infidels
2. Jackanapes
3. Naps
4. The Darned Sox
5. Festivus Miracles
6. Not So Fragile Flowers
7. Savage Sickos
8. All The Wrong Cubs
9. The Consummate Bastards
10. Slipstream Starlings
[Reverse order for even-numbered rounds]
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