With their win over The Darned Sox last week, All The Wrong Cubs knocked out not only TDS, but also the only championship franchises the league has ever known, Jackanapes and Naps; and with Not So Fragile Flowers taking one on the chin, the Cubs are only 1 win away from clinching the division. UF division in the style of Longfellow: Two if by points, one if by record.
All the Wrong Cubs (14-7): vs. Miracles, at Flowers
Hold tiebreaker over: Jackanapes, Sox (Flowers TBD)
Can win the division if they finish 2-0 or 1-1 or, if the Flowers finish 1-1 the Cubs can finish 0-2 and still win the division.
If they finish 0-2, can the Flowers go 2-0, the Flowers win the division.
Not So Fragile Flowers (12-9): vs. Jackanapes, vs. Cubs
Hold tiebreaker over: (Cubs, Jackanapes TBD)
Can win the division if they finish 2-0 AND the Cubs finish 0-2.
If they finish 1-1/0-2, they cannot win the division.
Naps (11-10): at Sox, at Jackanapes
Hold tiebreaker over: N/A
Cannot win the division. In golf parlance, they are out 3&2.
The Darned Sox (10-11): vs. Naps, vs. Starlings
Hold tiebreaker over: N/A
Cannot win the division. A win last week vs. the Cubs would've kept it alive for at least 7 more days.
Jackanapes (10-11): at Flowers, vs. Naps
Hold tiebreaker over: N/A
Cannot win the division. A year after snagging the first overall pick, the Napes are now in line for pick #2. Can you say "Kosuke Fukudome?" No, really, can you?
Monday, August 27, 2007
PLAYOFF PICTURE - UPDATED! - IMMOVABLE OBJECTS DIVISION
Contrary to their representation of Immovable Objects, many changes have taken place since last week, as Slipstream Starlings knocked off perrenial front-runners Savage Sickos, placing the Starlings only one game in back of the frontrunners, which now includes The Consummate Bastards. The Festivus Miracles, despite a win, were officially eliminated from divisional contention, although they remain in the thick of the wildcard hunt. While the divisional title is the one sure way to get in, as of today, 4 of the top 5 scoring teams are in the division, and as many as 3 IO teams might wind up in the playoffs.
Savage Sickos (12-9): vs. Bastards, at Infidels.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi (vs. Bastards TBD)
Can win the division if they finish 2-0.
If they finish 1-1, they need to beat the Bastards (cannot lose to Bastards and win the division); they need the Starlings to go 1-1/0-2 (Starlings hold tiebreaker vs. Sickos).
If they finish 0-2, they cannot win the division.
The Consummate Bastards (12-9): at Sickos, at Festivi.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi, Starlings (vs. Sickos TBD)
Can win the division if they finish 2-0.
If they finish 1-1, they need to beat the Sickos (cannot lose to Sickos and win the division).
If they finish 0-2, they cannot win the division.
Slipstream Starlings (11-10): vs. Infidels, at Sox.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi, Sickos
Can win the division if they finish 2-0, the Sickos finish no better than 1-1, and the Bastards go 0-2 (Bastards hold tiebreaker vs. Starlings).
Cannot win the division if they finish 1-1/0-2.
Festivus Miracles (11-10): at Cubs, vs. Bastards.
Hold tiebreaker over: none.
Holding no tiebreakers against the three teams ahead of them in the standings, the Miracles have been mathematically eliminated. Hung out to dry, the Miracles now reside in bubbleland, but they're not quite ready to fold. At the end of Week 21, they sat 1 point out of the last wildcard slot. Week 23 grudgematch vs. Bastards is one to watch.
Da Infidels (2-19): Who will they take with the #1 pick in next year's draft? Will they trade it away again? Many questions surround the Da Infidels, some of which could be cleared up in the next installment of the Rusty Kuntz blog's "Getting To Know..." series. Stay tuned.
Savage Sickos (12-9): vs. Bastards, at Infidels.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi (vs. Bastards TBD)
Can win the division if they finish 2-0.
If they finish 1-1, they need to beat the Bastards (cannot lose to Bastards and win the division); they need the Starlings to go 1-1/0-2 (Starlings hold tiebreaker vs. Sickos).
If they finish 0-2, they cannot win the division.
The Consummate Bastards (12-9): at Sickos, at Festivi.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi, Starlings (vs. Sickos TBD)
Can win the division if they finish 2-0.
If they finish 1-1, they need to beat the Sickos (cannot lose to Sickos and win the division).
If they finish 0-2, they cannot win the division.
Slipstream Starlings (11-10): vs. Infidels, at Sox.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi, Sickos
Can win the division if they finish 2-0, the Sickos finish no better than 1-1, and the Bastards go 0-2 (Bastards hold tiebreaker vs. Starlings).
Cannot win the division if they finish 1-1/0-2.
Festivus Miracles (11-10): at Cubs, vs. Bastards.
Hold tiebreaker over: none.
Holding no tiebreakers against the three teams ahead of them in the standings, the Miracles have been mathematically eliminated. Hung out to dry, the Miracles now reside in bubbleland, but they're not quite ready to fold. At the end of Week 21, they sat 1 point out of the last wildcard slot. Week 23 grudgematch vs. Bastards is one to watch.
Da Infidels (2-19): Who will they take with the #1 pick in next year's draft? Will they trade it away again? Many questions surround the Da Infidels, some of which could be cleared up in the next installment of the Rusty Kuntz blog's "Getting To Know..." series. Stay tuned.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Transaction de Monday
My name is Timmy Lupus and my favorite player is A-Rod.
It's the Little League World Series edition of Transaction de Monday. The final edition.
Leading off are the Naps who no longer see themselves circling the drain and seemingly intend on being contenders. A couple of rentals indicate this conclusion: Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe were acquired from the Darnedsox for picks in the fifth and seventh rounds in 2008, respectively. The Naps also dropped Mike Piazza (who was started this week in place of Jarrod Saltalamacchia and his 7 RBI game) and Texas DH Jason Botts. They then dropped the once glorious but ever ugly Todd Helton and picked up Jake Westbrook for $4.
My name is Mike Engelberg and my favorite player is Mo Vaughn.
I must admit I am a little grumpy tonight. Apparently, The Consummate Bastards were on eBay this evening with the intention of bidding big dough at the last possible moment on a guitar I'd been lusting after for weeks. In real life, as in fantasy life, TCBs got their man. At least in fantasy baseball, they can only keep five of their gems. This week, TCBs got a little bit of comeuppance--but not much--when the much-anticipated return of Edgar Reteria was thwarted in his first AB back from the DL. Replacing Renteria is Khalil "It ain't easy being Baha'i" Greene for $1. Greene's hitting only .246.
My name is Ahmad Abdul-Rahim and my favorite player is Henry Aaron.
The Darnedsox, obviously packing it in (see above), took theoretical pizza out of the mouths of DCBA members by dropping $5 on Tim Wakefield. Not only does this further implicate TDS in a Red Sox fetish, it suggests that he's too late: Wakefield is 8-2 in his last 10 starts, and that's bound to break sooner or later, right? Oh yeah, Wakefield's replacing Lowe. Or Pedro. Whichever one Wakefield isn't replacing gets replaced by Paul Byrd for $4. Say what you will about these moves. TDS are still handsomely funding that pizza party.
My name is Tanner Boyle and my favorite player is Billy Martin.
The Jackanapes moved Big Jim Thome to the dustbin, even among rumors that Ozzie Guillen might move him to the leadoff slot to get him extra ABs to help him hit his 500th HR, for Cincy 1B Joey Votto, $1. The Jackanapes are banking on Votto being a dazzling September call-up, obviously. Votto has yet to play in the Majors this year. The Jackanapes also signed Cameron Maybin The Burrito for $2. We're guessing there won't be room to keep this "future fantasy stud," so we should all give a collective thank you to the 'Napes for bringing this guy to our attention.
My name is Amanda Wurlizer and my favorite player is Wade Boggs.
It looks like All the Wrong Cubs get the eye candy tonight. It's only fair: They've suffered through the shit storm that has been Chris Capuano. CC started the year 6-0, but has since gone 0-11. **Shiver** This guy used to be keeper material. Replacing Capuano will be Esteban Loaiza for $2. Loaiza's a sure thing to improve on Capuano's spot (who couldn't?) Rumor has it that ATWCs are planning a Esteban Loaiza Guitar Lesson night sometime around Sept. 15th. Get your tickets now, gents. ATWC rotated Joel Pineiro back to the rear and brought Bengie Molina to the front, $1, to spell Joe Mauer. Tough luck having to replace a minor injury at the deadline.
A gift to all of you:
http://www.despardes.com/Entertainment/chanachoor/oct04/tatum-oneil-big.jpg
Thursday, August 23, 2007
TransAction Thursday
How thin is the league at SS that The Consummate Bastards suffered through three months of Stephen Drew, a period in which he posted a line of .225/.297/.398. Or maybe it's not a question of a thin position but of stubbornness on the CB's part, wishing and hoping and praying for the Inner Drew Stud to emerge. (Maybe next year.) At any rate, Edgar Renteria ($1) -- coming off an ankle injury -- is a risky pickup for the stretch run, especially when there are real-deal-studs such as Bill E. Hall available on-the-block.
How thin is the league at RF that The Consummate Bastards suffered through four months of Delmon Young, a period in which he posted a line of .286/.317/402. Or maybe it's not a question of a thin position but of stubbornness on the CB's part, wishing and hoping and praying for the Inner Young Stud to emerge. (Maybe next year.) At any rate, Jeremy Hermida ($1) -- coming off a hip injury -- is a risky pickup for the stretch run, especially when there are real-deal-studs such as Jermaine Dye available on-the-block.
And recent pickup Edinson "Sleepy" Volquez gets dropkicked back to the pool whilst Andrew Miller ($1) is reeled in for another go-round. (Miller was signed by the CB's for $15 ["giggle," as they say], traded, and was dropped for Jason Botts.)
The Jackanapes waste no time in wasting more fantasy dollars in picking up Kurt Suzuki "Method" ($1) -- catcher for the Oakland Athletics. Suzuki is neither of great current value nor of great keeper value. Ramon Hernandez, who is neither of great current value nor of great keeper value was sent packing. Adiós, tú perdedor sin valor.
The Not So Fragile Flowers pay $3 to find out if Joel Zumaya has still got it, Fonz. The roster price -- Aaron Cook -- was negligible. Heading into the stretch run, it's a nice hedge against a Borowski implosion.
How thin is the league at RF that The Consummate Bastards suffered through four months of Delmon Young, a period in which he posted a line of .286/.317/402. Or maybe it's not a question of a thin position but of stubbornness on the CB's part, wishing and hoping and praying for the Inner Young Stud to emerge. (Maybe next year.) At any rate, Jeremy Hermida ($1) -- coming off a hip injury -- is a risky pickup for the stretch run, especially when there are real-deal-studs such as Jermaine Dye available on-the-block.
And recent pickup Edinson "Sleepy" Volquez gets dropkicked back to the pool whilst Andrew Miller ($1) is reeled in for another go-round. (Miller was signed by the CB's for $15 ["giggle," as they say], traded, and was dropped for Jason Botts.)
The Jackanapes waste no time in wasting more fantasy dollars in picking up Kurt Suzuki "Method" ($1) -- catcher for the Oakland Athletics. Suzuki is neither of great current value nor of great keeper value. Ramon Hernandez, who is neither of great current value nor of great keeper value was sent packing. Adiós, tú perdedor sin valor.
The Not So Fragile Flowers pay $3 to find out if Joel Zumaya has still got it, Fonz. The roster price -- Aaron Cook -- was negligible. Heading into the stretch run, it's a nice hedge against a Borowski implosion.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Playoff Watch - 2007
More mumbo-jumbo scenarios that will mean nothing come Monday when it's all hashed out.
Unstoppable Forces Division
The newly minted American controls his own fate here; will anyone be able to stop him? Would it be unpatriotic? Meanwhile, the Sox, Naps and Napes all find themselves in single-elimination land, and need the moon to be in Aquarius while the sun shines on the rings of Uranus. They're behind the 8-ball of the magic variety and it says: not bloody likely. And let's not forget the X factor in all of this, Michael X. Roberts - will his squadron wear the laurels or has he been handed a bouquet of pansies?
All the Wrong Cubs (13-7): at Sox, vs. Miracles, at Flowers
Hold tiebreaker over: Jackanapes, Sox (Flowers TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0.
If they finish 2-1: & beat the Flowers;
If they finish 1-2: & beat the Flowers;
If they finish 0-3: cannot win the division.
Not So Fragile Flowers (12-8): at Naps, vs. Jackanapes, vs. Cubs
Hold tiebreaker over: (Cubs, Jackanapes TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0.
If they finish 2-1: & beat the Cubs;
If they finish 1-2: & beat the Cubs & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Jackanapes finish 2-1 or worse & the Sox finish 2-1 or worse & the Naps finish 2-1 or worse.
If they finish 0-3: cannot win the division.
The Darned Sox (10-10): vs. Cubs, vs. Naps, vs. Starlings
Hold tiebreaker over: Jackanapes, Flowers (Naps TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0 & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Flowers finish 1-2 or worse.
If they finish 2-1/1-2/0-3: cannot win the division.
Naps (10-10): vs. Flowers, at Sox, at Jackanapes
Hold tiebreaker over: Cubs, Flowers (Sox TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0 & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Flowers finish 1-2 or worse.
If they finish 2-1/1-2/0-3: cannot win the division.
Jackanapes (10-10): at Bastards, at Flowers, vs. Naps
Hold tiebreaker over: Naps (Flowers TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0 & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Sox finish 2-1 or worse.
If they finish 2-1/1-2/0-3: cannot win the division.
Unstoppable Forces Division
The newly minted American controls his own fate here; will anyone be able to stop him? Would it be unpatriotic? Meanwhile, the Sox, Naps and Napes all find themselves in single-elimination land, and need the moon to be in Aquarius while the sun shines on the rings of Uranus. They're behind the 8-ball of the magic variety and it says: not bloody likely. And let's not forget the X factor in all of this, Michael X. Roberts - will his squadron wear the laurels or has he been handed a bouquet of pansies?
All the Wrong Cubs (13-7): at Sox, vs. Miracles, at Flowers
Hold tiebreaker over: Jackanapes, Sox (Flowers TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0.
If they finish 2-1: & beat the Flowers;
If they finish 1-2: & beat the Flowers;
If they finish 0-3: cannot win the division.
Not So Fragile Flowers (12-8): at Naps, vs. Jackanapes, vs. Cubs
Hold tiebreaker over: (Cubs, Jackanapes TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0.
If they finish 2-1: & beat the Cubs;
If they finish 1-2: & beat the Cubs & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Jackanapes finish 2-1 or worse & the Sox finish 2-1 or worse & the Naps finish 2-1 or worse.
If they finish 0-3: cannot win the division.
The Darned Sox (10-10): vs. Cubs, vs. Naps, vs. Starlings
Hold tiebreaker over: Jackanapes, Flowers (Naps TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0 & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Flowers finish 1-2 or worse.
If they finish 2-1/1-2/0-3: cannot win the division.
Naps (10-10): vs. Flowers, at Sox, at Jackanapes
Hold tiebreaker over: Cubs, Flowers (Sox TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0 & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Flowers finish 1-2 or worse.
If they finish 2-1/1-2/0-3: cannot win the division.
Jackanapes (10-10): at Bastards, at Flowers, vs. Naps
Hold tiebreaker over: Naps (Flowers TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0 & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Sox finish 2-1 or worse.
If they finish 2-1/1-2/0-3: cannot win the division.
Playoff Watch - 2007
Please to be noting this is merely the rundown of the scenarios to win the divisional title. Wildcard not included.
Immovable Objects Division
Savage Sickos (12-8): at Starlings, vs. Bastards, at Infidels.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi (vs. Starlings, Bastards TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0;
they finish 2-1 and beat the Bastards;
they finish 1-2 (beating the Starlings) and the Bastards go 1-2;
they finish 1-2 (beating the Bastards) and the Starlings go 1-2.
The Consummate Bastards (11-9): vs. Napes, at Sickos, at Festivi.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi, Starlings (vs. Sickos TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0;
they finish 2-1 and beat the Sickos, the Sickos finish 1-2/0-3;
they finish 1-2 and the Sickos finish 0-3.
Slipstream Starlings (10-10): vs. Sickos, vs. Infidels, at Sox.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi (vs. Sickos TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0, the Sickos finish 1-2/0-3 & the Bastards finish 1-2/0-3.
Festivus Miracles (10-10): at Infidels, at Cubs, vs. Bastards.
Hold tiebreaker over: none.
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0, the Sickos finish 0-3 & the Bastards finish 1-2/0-3 & the Starlings finish 2-1/1-2/0-3.
Da Infidels (2-18):
Elimidated, but can deliver Capitol Punishment and screw over the Festivi, Starlings and Sickos. They've played all year just. for. this. moment.
Immovable Objects Division
Savage Sickos (12-8): at Starlings, vs. Bastards, at Infidels.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi (vs. Starlings, Bastards TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0;
they finish 2-1 and beat the Bastards;
they finish 1-2 (beating the Starlings) and the Bastards go 1-2;
they finish 1-2 (beating the Bastards) and the Starlings go 1-2.
The Consummate Bastards (11-9): vs. Napes, at Sickos, at Festivi.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi, Starlings (vs. Sickos TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0;
they finish 2-1 and beat the Sickos, the Sickos finish 1-2/0-3;
they finish 1-2 and the Sickos finish 0-3.
Slipstream Starlings (10-10): vs. Sickos, vs. Infidels, at Sox.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi (vs. Sickos TBD)
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0, the Sickos finish 1-2/0-3 & the Bastards finish 1-2/0-3.
Festivus Miracles (10-10): at Infidels, at Cubs, vs. Bastards.
Hold tiebreaker over: none.
Can win the division if: they finish 3-0, the Sickos finish 0-3 & the Bastards finish 1-2/0-3 & the Starlings finish 2-1/1-2/0-3.
Da Infidels (2-18):
Elimidated, but can deliver Capitol Punishment and screw over the Festivi, Starlings and Sickos. They've played all year just. for. this. moment.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Transaction de Monday
Let us exhume a parade of transactions this period past:
The Consummate Bastards were active more than ever, so let's start with them. First of all, they dumped Adam Jones for SP Franklin Morales, who you'll know as Ritchie Valens' big bro in La Bamba. Morales is a "long-term keeper option." This goes to show you just how deeply TCBs plumb the Free Agent pool for prospects. The dude pitches in Colorado for God's sake. Even at $1, I call this half-thought. Also picked up was Edison Volquez who pitches in Texas when he's not stuck in Triple-A OKC, $1. WTF!?! Placido Polanco, $1, who sounds like a disease replaces Rickie "9 1/2" Weeks at 2B. Finally, TCBs traded for Carl Crawford and Scott Kazmir who for all I know may be Ted Williams and Bob Gibson because they play in Tampa, and I just can't keep up with that team. Those dudes came over from the...
Jackanapes who got Phil Hughes who the 'Napes originally signed for $11 [giggle], and was last picked up by someone else for a buck. Along for the ride is bigass badass CC Sabathia and some dude named Billy Butler who plays in KC, which is a little like Tampa in my book. I suppose I'll look up Butler for you. Hold on. It doesn't say much other than he's a long-term keeper prospect. Let one of those guys who pays for premium scouting reports tell you about him. All I know is that he was born after The Joshua Tree was recorded, which is just fucked up in my book. The Jacks also acquired Chocolate Melky Cabrera from the...
Not So Fragile Flowers who got Kelvim Escobar in return. This guy is for my money the most unpredictable of fantasy baseball commodities: Handsome in the K's, but rather sloppy in the W/L department. The present looks to be the exception. Let's see if anyone finds themselves forgetting his past win percentage next year. NSFF also picked up 1B Adam LaRoche, $1, for Buddy Carlyle, who as I suggested in a previous post, is an intolerable little turd.
All the Wrong Cubs' guardian angel has finally arrived in the form of Joel Pineiro, a two start starter, for Aaron Hill, 2B, who won't start any games at all. Also trading places were Jack Cust, $1, who replaced another guy with a weird last name--Ryan Garko. Cust is hot again. For some reason, When I hear "Jack Cust" I think "Brad Fullmer."
Let's finish on a positive note: The Savage Sickos, outbid at least one club and got Ubaldo Jimenez, $10, who pushed out the ever-tardy John Danks. How long will it take Danks to reach his potential? Right. Danks was a Ranger find. So was Todd Van Poppel and Bobby Witt. What is it about these young, bluechip pitchers and their weird-ass names? Yovani. Ubaldo. Homer.
Tip-top everyone!
The Consummate Bastards were active more than ever, so let's start with them. First of all, they dumped Adam Jones for SP Franklin Morales, who you'll know as Ritchie Valens' big bro in La Bamba. Morales is a "long-term keeper option." This goes to show you just how deeply TCBs plumb the Free Agent pool for prospects. The dude pitches in Colorado for God's sake. Even at $1, I call this half-thought. Also picked up was Edison Volquez who pitches in Texas when he's not stuck in Triple-A OKC, $1. WTF!?! Placido Polanco, $1, who sounds like a disease replaces Rickie "9 1/2" Weeks at 2B. Finally, TCBs traded for Carl Crawford and Scott Kazmir who for all I know may be Ted Williams and Bob Gibson because they play in Tampa, and I just can't keep up with that team. Those dudes came over from the...
Jackanapes who got Phil Hughes who the 'Napes originally signed for $11 [giggle], and was last picked up by someone else for a buck. Along for the ride is bigass badass CC Sabathia and some dude named Billy Butler who plays in KC, which is a little like Tampa in my book. I suppose I'll look up Butler for you. Hold on. It doesn't say much other than he's a long-term keeper prospect. Let one of those guys who pays for premium scouting reports tell you about him. All I know is that he was born after The Joshua Tree was recorded, which is just fucked up in my book. The Jacks also acquired Chocolate Melky Cabrera from the...
Not So Fragile Flowers who got Kelvim Escobar in return. This guy is for my money the most unpredictable of fantasy baseball commodities: Handsome in the K's, but rather sloppy in the W/L department. The present looks to be the exception. Let's see if anyone finds themselves forgetting his past win percentage next year. NSFF also picked up 1B Adam LaRoche, $1, for Buddy Carlyle, who as I suggested in a previous post, is an intolerable little turd.
All the Wrong Cubs' guardian angel has finally arrived in the form of Joel Pineiro, a two start starter, for Aaron Hill, 2B, who won't start any games at all. Also trading places were Jack Cust, $1, who replaced another guy with a weird last name--Ryan Garko. Cust is hot again. For some reason, When I hear "Jack Cust" I think "Brad Fullmer."
Let's finish on a positive note: The Savage Sickos, outbid at least one club and got Ubaldo Jimenez, $10, who pushed out the ever-tardy John Danks. How long will it take Danks to reach his potential? Right. Danks was a Ranger find. So was Todd Van Poppel and Bobby Witt. What is it about these young, bluechip pitchers and their weird-ass names? Yovani. Ubaldo. Homer.
Tip-top everyone!
SEASON TRANSACTION DEADLINE
As you may or may not know, this weekend marks the end of trades and free agent pick-ups.
To quote from the 2007 Edition of the Rules...
"A trading deadline of 11:59 PM on Saturday, August 25, 2007 will be imposed. No trades will be allowed after this time. Additionally, an Add/Drop deadline of 11:59 PM Sunday, August 26, 2007 will be imposed. You may not bid on a Free Agent or drop a player from your roster after this time, except to replace an injured player on your roster. After the transaction deadline, in the event a starting player is placed on the DL, an owner may acquire a Free Agent on the condition that the Free Agent acquisition will be placed immediately (effective at the submission of the weekly lineup) into the starting lineup to replace the injured player."
Just a reminder that Fantasy Dollars cannot be carried over to next season.
Just a further reminder that you may want to keep a few fantasy dollars in your back pocket in case you need to make an injury replacement after the deadline.*
Just a further further reminder that you may only replace a player who has officially been placed on the DL by his team, as voted on by all of you.
*Please contact your two commissioners if (post-deadline) you need to make an injury replacement.
To quote from the 2007 Edition of the Rules...
"A trading deadline of 11:59 PM on Saturday, August 25, 2007 will be imposed. No trades will be allowed after this time. Additionally, an Add/Drop deadline of 11:59 PM Sunday, August 26, 2007 will be imposed. You may not bid on a Free Agent or drop a player from your roster after this time, except to replace an injured player on your roster. After the transaction deadline, in the event a starting player is placed on the DL, an owner may acquire a Free Agent on the condition that the Free Agent acquisition will be placed immediately (effective at the submission of the weekly lineup) into the starting lineup to replace the injured player."
Just a reminder that Fantasy Dollars cannot be carried over to next season.
Just a further reminder that you may want to keep a few fantasy dollars in your back pocket in case you need to make an injury replacement after the deadline.*
Just a further further reminder that you may only replace a player who has officially been placed on the DL by his team, as voted on by all of you.
*Please contact your two commissioners if (post-deadline) you need to make an injury replacement.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Deadline Dash
Have some disposable dollars?* Here's a look at some disposable numbers. Will these players keep up their performances and help your pennant push? Hell if I know. I'll just let the numbers speak for themselves; if I had any predictive powers I wouldn't be in last place.
Top Free Agent Pitching Performances: 7/16-8/16
Edwin Jackson, TB: 2-2, 30 1/3 IP, 2.37 ERA (84 pts.)
Tim Redding, WAS: 1-2, 39 IP, 2.54 ERA (92 pts.)
Josh Fogg, COL: 3-1, 31 IP, 2.61 ERA (72 pts.)
Kip Wells, STL: 3-1, 38 2/3 IP, 2.79 ERA (98 pts.)
Doug Davis, ARI: 4-0, 40 IP, 3.15 ERA (103 pts.)
Kason Gabbard, TEX: 3-1, 32 2/3 IP, 3.21 ERA (87 pts.)
Paul Maholm, PIT: 3-2, 32 2/3 IP, 3.31 ERA (84 pts.)
Jeff Weaver, SEA: 2-3, 34 1/3 IP, 3.41 ERA (85 pts.)
and the quite less exciting...
Top Free Agent Hitting Performances: 7/16-8/16
Josh Fields, CWS [3b]: 8 HR, 21 RBI (98 pts.)
Mark Ellis, OAK [2b]: 7 2b, 1 3b, 8 HR, 14 RBI (111 pts.)
Nate McLouth, PIT [LF, CF, RF]: 6 2b, 6 HR, 15 RBI (96 pts.)
Frank Thomas, TOR [DH]: 8 2b, 4 HR, 26 RBI (97 pts.)
Jacque Jones, CUB [CF, RF]: 12 2b, 2 HR, 23 RBI (101 pts.)
Pedro Feliz, SF [3b]: 8 2b, 4 HR, 21 RBI (104 pts.)
Geoff Jenkins, MIL [LF, RF]: 8 2b, 5 HR, 14 RBI (84 pts.)
*As stated in The Official DCBA Rules of 2007: "Budgets do not carry over to the next season. Any leftover funds will be collected by the commissioners to help defray the cost of a season-ending pretend pizza party."
Top Free Agent Pitching Performances: 7/16-8/16
Edwin Jackson, TB: 2-2, 30 1/3 IP, 2.37 ERA (84 pts.)
Tim Redding, WAS: 1-2, 39 IP, 2.54 ERA (92 pts.)
Josh Fogg, COL: 3-1, 31 IP, 2.61 ERA (72 pts.)
Kip Wells, STL: 3-1, 38 2/3 IP, 2.79 ERA (98 pts.)
Doug Davis, ARI: 4-0, 40 IP, 3.15 ERA (103 pts.)
Kason Gabbard, TEX: 3-1, 32 2/3 IP, 3.21 ERA (87 pts.)
Paul Maholm, PIT: 3-2, 32 2/3 IP, 3.31 ERA (84 pts.)
Jeff Weaver, SEA: 2-3, 34 1/3 IP, 3.41 ERA (85 pts.)
and the quite less exciting...
Top Free Agent Hitting Performances: 7/16-8/16
Josh Fields, CWS [3b]: 8 HR, 21 RBI (98 pts.)
Mark Ellis, OAK [2b]: 7 2b, 1 3b, 8 HR, 14 RBI (111 pts.)
Nate McLouth, PIT [LF, CF, RF]: 6 2b, 6 HR, 15 RBI (96 pts.)
Frank Thomas, TOR [DH]: 8 2b, 4 HR, 26 RBI (97 pts.)
Jacque Jones, CUB [CF, RF]: 12 2b, 2 HR, 23 RBI (101 pts.)
Pedro Feliz, SF [3b]: 8 2b, 4 HR, 21 RBI (104 pts.)
Geoff Jenkins, MIL [LF, RF]: 8 2b, 5 HR, 14 RBI (84 pts.)
*As stated in The Official DCBA Rules of 2007: "Budgets do not carry over to the next season. Any leftover funds will be collected by the commissioners to help defray the cost of a season-ending pretend pizza party."
Thursday, August 16, 2007
TransAction Thursday + TransAction Thursday
Clay Buchholz
Born in Texas
Highly regarded Red Sox Prospect
Cost $3
The Darned Sox
Lives in Texas
Son of Sam Horn
Has $3
A match made in heaven.
"Don't Call Me Taylor" is reportedly on his way to the Big Boys Club for a Friday start, which is a highly anticipated event in New England and certain parts of Texas. The rest of you shall be forgiven for your yawns, shrugs, and 'huh?'s.
Going back to last Thursday lest I be publicly called-out a third time for lack of coverage...
'Da Infidels are the latest team to fall for Chris Duncan and his awesoma three-dolla powa, dumping Jarrod Washburn in the process. I don't think I can sum up Chris Duncan any better than the sponsor of his baseball-reference page:
"He hit the last cardinal HR at the last (and best) Busch Stadium, and had the first hit in the first baseball game in the new Busch Stadium, he's on the way to be one of the best!!! go cards!!!"
With Chris and Shelley Duncan in 'da fold, can Sandy be far behind?
And it wouldn't be a proper DCBA season without the Naps taking a flier on Jason "Ro" Botts ($2), who combines the sweet swing of an Adam Hyzdu, the body type of a Bucky Jacobsen, and the power potential of a Jon Knott.
Born in Texas
Highly regarded Red Sox Prospect
Cost $3
The Darned Sox
Lives in Texas
Son of Sam Horn
Has $3
A match made in heaven.
"Don't Call Me Taylor" is reportedly on his way to the Big Boys Club for a Friday start, which is a highly anticipated event in New England and certain parts of Texas. The rest of you shall be forgiven for your yawns, shrugs, and 'huh?'s.
Going back to last Thursday lest I be publicly called-out a third time for lack of coverage...
'Da Infidels are the latest team to fall for Chris Duncan and his awesoma three-dolla powa, dumping Jarrod Washburn in the process. I don't think I can sum up Chris Duncan any better than the sponsor of his baseball-reference page:
"He hit the last cardinal HR at the last (and best) Busch Stadium, and had the first hit in the first baseball game in the new Busch Stadium, he's on the way to be one of the best!!! go cards!!!"
With Chris and Shelley Duncan in 'da fold, can Sandy be far behind?
And it wouldn't be a proper DCBA season without the Naps taking a flier on Jason "Ro" Botts ($2), who combines the sweet swing of an Adam Hyzdu, the body type of a Bucky Jacobsen, and the power potential of a Jon Knott.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
TWIDCBA - Week 19
Rubbing up scuffed balls...how much worse can it get?(Keep reading for a clue)
After a short hiatus (the WNBA people - the WNBA!), TWIDCBA returns for the stretch run. Cinch it up and strap it down.
All The Wrong Cubs 263.5 @ Naps 385.5
Record-breaker/baconator Bobby Jenks unable to deliver for division-leaders(t-1), but like the rain, more blame falls on the north side than the south, with Cubbies Lee, Ramirez, (and since-released) Marshall dropping the soap.
Naps pitchers manage to go 1-1 in Cubville, but it's Bucco Gorzellany stepping up in tribute to trademate Matsui, putting up a 55 on the week. Andruw Jones brings up the rear, leading one to speculate that the end is near. Fact: No Curacaoan has played in the MLB past the age of 31 (Randall "Sausage" Simon & Hensely "Bam Bam" Meulens).
Da Infidels 284.5 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 342.5
As luck would have it, the Da Infidels could've beaten two other teams this week, but this wasn't one of them. Despite out-homering the NSFF 8-3, DI weren't able to convert that advantage into a lead large enough to compensate for their pitching deficiencies. Jim Abbott could pitch with one hand, but Jason Hirsh can't pitch with a broken leg?
While some might question the virility of the team with a Casey, Kelly, Grady, Melky, Micah and Chris, the flaming Flowers have pulled off a 7-game winning streak to claim a share of first-place, the best record in the league & guaranteed their first winning season in franchise history. And they owe it all to Barry Zito, of course. You've got to spend money to make money.
Festivus Miracles 252.5 @ Savage Sickos 315.5
Seven pitchers in the starting lineup: 84.5 pts. 4 bench pitchers: 75.5. The Festivi caught no breaks this week, as their pitiful points production dropped them from 2nd in points to 5th, which would be on the outside looking in come playoff time. Brewer bomber Braun bore the load for the FM, leading all scorers.
The Sickos provided some drama this week with Johnny Danks starting off the week in line for 2 starts, then being scratched, then put in for a Sunday start, then being shelled. Rookies. Despite his pasting, however, he paced the staff with 23.5 points. If something crazy happens, I'll be sure to note it, but until then let's just assume that A-Rod led the Sickos' scoring. He did.
Slipstream Starlings 290.5 @ The Consummate Bastards 314.5
In Polish fantasy baseball, you score when you're on the bench, and put up goose eggs when you're in the starting lineup. This isn't Polish fantasy baseball, Troy Tulowitzki, it's the DCBA! Confirming the contention that pitching wins championships, the Starlings were sunk with a mere 5 starts on the week despite a league-high number of at-bats. If there's a hole in the boat, that boat is probably the Maine.
The CoBas 2 MVPs combined for a solid 20 points, but it stands to reason that the Kents are looking out for each other. In another notable development, Francisco Lirirano, who hasn't thrown a pitch this year, was not the low scorer. I repeat: not the low scorer. I didn't see the game, but maybe Yovani Gallardo was throwing with his left hand in tribute to him.
The Darned Sox 313.5 @ Jackanapes 308
In a statistical note of absolutely no significance, the The Darned Sox finally put a visiting team in the win column. The mojo of a returned Travis Hafner, despite his performing like the south end of a northbound pronkey, once again set the The Darned Sox right. Putting the The Darned Sox on his back was Magglio Ordonez, the $75MM player the White Sox couldn't afford, who batted .500 on the week to notch 50 points.
Jim Thome, the $85MM player the White Sox can afford, could not put the Jackanapes on his back - and I mean that literally as well as figuratively, such a balky back has he. And to tie it back to Ordonez to wrap things up, it was that Venezuelan piece of shit motherfucker Carlos Zambrano chipping in to sink the Jackanapes. Solving the equation, it appears that his "first" season started April 1, his "second" season started June 1, and it looks like he's now in season "three." Starting October 1, look out DCBA, Carlos will be back.
All The Wrong Cubs 263.5 @ Naps 385.5
Record-breaker/baconator Bobby Jenks unable to deliver for division-leaders(t-1), but like the rain, more blame falls on the north side than the south, with Cubbies Lee, Ramirez, (and since-released) Marshall dropping the soap.
Naps pitchers manage to go 1-1 in Cubville, but it's Bucco Gorzellany stepping up in tribute to trademate Matsui, putting up a 55 on the week. Andruw Jones brings up the rear, leading one to speculate that the end is near. Fact: No Curacaoan has played in the MLB past the age of 31 (Randall "Sausage" Simon & Hensely "Bam Bam" Meulens).
Da Infidels 284.5 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 342.5
As luck would have it, the Da Infidels could've beaten two other teams this week, but this wasn't one of them. Despite out-homering the NSFF 8-3, DI weren't able to convert that advantage into a lead large enough to compensate for their pitching deficiencies. Jim Abbott could pitch with one hand, but Jason Hirsh can't pitch with a broken leg?
While some might question the virility of the team with a Casey, Kelly, Grady, Melky, Micah and Chris, the flaming Flowers have pulled off a 7-game winning streak to claim a share of first-place, the best record in the league & guaranteed their first winning season in franchise history. And they owe it all to Barry Zito, of course. You've got to spend money to make money.
Festivus Miracles 252.5 @ Savage Sickos 315.5
Seven pitchers in the starting lineup: 84.5 pts. 4 bench pitchers: 75.5. The Festivi caught no breaks this week, as their pitiful points production dropped them from 2nd in points to 5th, which would be on the outside looking in come playoff time. Brewer bomber Braun bore the load for the FM, leading all scorers.
The Sickos provided some drama this week with Johnny Danks starting off the week in line for 2 starts, then being scratched, then put in for a Sunday start, then being shelled. Rookies. Despite his pasting, however, he paced the staff with 23.5 points. If something crazy happens, I'll be sure to note it, but until then let's just assume that A-Rod led the Sickos' scoring. He did.
Slipstream Starlings 290.5 @ The Consummate Bastards 314.5
In Polish fantasy baseball, you score when you're on the bench, and put up goose eggs when you're in the starting lineup. This isn't Polish fantasy baseball, Troy Tulowitzki, it's the DCBA! Confirming the contention that pitching wins championships, the Starlings were sunk with a mere 5 starts on the week despite a league-high number of at-bats. If there's a hole in the boat, that boat is probably the Maine.
The CoBas 2 MVPs combined for a solid 20 points, but it stands to reason that the Kents are looking out for each other. In another notable development, Francisco Lirirano, who hasn't thrown a pitch this year, was not the low scorer. I repeat: not the low scorer. I didn't see the game, but maybe Yovani Gallardo was throwing with his left hand in tribute to him.
The Darned Sox 313.5 @ Jackanapes 308
In a statistical note of absolutely no significance, the The Darned Sox finally put a visiting team in the win column. The mojo of a returned Travis Hafner, despite his performing like the south end of a northbound pronkey, once again set the The Darned Sox right. Putting the The Darned Sox on his back was Magglio Ordonez, the $75MM player the White Sox couldn't afford, who batted .500 on the week to notch 50 points.
Jim Thome, the $85MM player the White Sox can afford, could not put the Jackanapes on his back - and I mean that literally as well as figuratively, such a balky back has he. And to tie it back to Ordonez to wrap things up, it was that Venezuelan piece of shit motherfucker Carlos Zambrano chipping in to sink the Jackanapes. Solving the equation, it appears that his "first" season started April 1, his "second" season started June 1, and it looks like he's now in season "three." Starting October 1, look out DCBA, Carlos will be back.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Transaction de Monday
Is anybody out there?
In the event that anyone really reads these things, I'll do this one last time until someone else pulls their weight.
The Consummate Bastards: Pick up Adam Jones for $1 and drop Eric Gagne who has stunk, stunk, stunk for the BoSox. No telling how well Jones will work out as a setup man. Rickie Weeks got called up by the Brewers and was promptly signed for $2. In the outgoing mailbox: Jeff Kent.
All the Wrong Cubs: Out: Sean Marshall. In: Freddy Sanchez, $1.
Jackanapes: Out: Milton Bradley. In: Anthony Reyes, $1.
Da Infidels: Out: Al "wish I was my brother" Reyes. In: Rick Ankiel. No telling if Rick's going make up for his previous shenanigans by drawing walks. $2. Clearly enthusiastic about the breaking of the gender line in Major League Baseball, the Infidels axed Jason Hirsh and bought Shelley Duncan for $3. No telling if that'll get the Infidels a half and half or an around the world, but with bated breath, the DCBA will watch.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Transaction de Monday
As they near the end, they hope, they pray, for a .338 lifetime hitter.
I may or may not cover what the guy who is supposed to write on Thursday missed. I can't be busy to look at a calendar and see whose job it was. I'm too pissed to do too much detective work tonight. There's a certain Bastard to blame.
TRADE!!!
Looking for setup man relief, the Consummate Bastards obtained Eric "He Wins" Gagne from the Darned Sox. The Sox get Lastings Milledge. My scouting report says that if Milton Bradley and Alfonso Soriano had engaged in unprotected lovemaking, they could have birthed Milledge. Advantage: Bastards.
TRADE!!!
The emphasis was on fantasy in the not-so-fantastically-named DCBA this week. Reversing a trade that went down in June, The Darned Sox send half their team back to the Naps for slugger Travis Hafner. That half team includes: Hideki Matsui, Todd Helton, and Tom Gorzelanny. How can three players constitute half a starting nine, you ask? Well, that's because you're forgetting to convert to Japanese Yen. A little perspective: The Naps were 5-4 before the trade and 4-4 afterward. TDS were 6-3 before and 1-7 after. Advantage: Everyone who played the Sox between those two trades.
Even those who were too timid to trade souls down at the crossroads weren't so chickenshit not to go tinkering with their lineups:
The Naps, in order to make room for the influx of talent--the double agents they sent to the Darned Sox--set free 7th inning man Hideki Okajima and drunk driver Scott "Nellie" Olsen. Gagne and Gorzellany make better than adequate replacements. Grade: WTF
In a coup that lives true to his team name, The Consummate Bastard absolutely buttfucked The Darned Sox sneaky plan to bid for Francisco Liriano at $1. TDS, too, bid $1, certain that this would stick in many a craw of the DCBA as much as pay dividends next year. TCBs dropped TDS draftpick Chris Duncan to make room. Grade: A++ or Fu, depending on where you stand.
The Darned Sox, their manager with that sinking hot feeling going through his body as though he just got called to the principle's office, can only guess that in his haste to pick up Liriano and feel good about sniping the league put Johnny Damon ahead of Liriano in his free agent 'wishlist' thingy. Fool me once, shame on The Consummate Bastards. Always, shame on them. $1 for Damon. Grade: C--
"Movin' right along..." All the Footloose and Fancyfree Cubs made room for Twins SP Scott Baker by not waiting for something better to come along from Jason Jennings who stunk it up to the tune of 11 runs in .2 IP. ATWC would have been justified in picking up Rick Ankiel to replace Jennings in the rotation. $2. Grade: B-.
The Jackanapes, determined to spend every last fantasy dollar, and maybe some Monopoly cash if the league'll let 'em, picked up SS qualifying CF Bill Hall to replace Edgar "Tough Break" Renteria who almost broke his ankle. Renteria was chooglin' along and was quietly putting together an outstanding season as SS go. Tougher break for the Jacks who are now in contention after early season struggles. $1, because the Jacks don't have many more. Grade: B, for necessity.
The Not So Frageelay Flowers made two moves to start the week: Newly minted Texas Ranger Kason Gabbard was sent packing for Micah Owings. Gabbard must've felt like he was on Cloud 149 pitching for the Red Sox compared to the lowly Rangers. Sportsline says he's a solid start in deeper mixed leagues. I've seen too many Ranger games to be this hopeful. My advice to Kason is to lay off the clubhouse water, carry garlic cloves, and rabbits' feet. Texas is where pitchers come to die. $1. NSFF's patience with true setup men proved fragile when they dumped relatively new Flower Scot Shields, who's been shitty since the break. Replacing Shields will be Melky Cabrera to the tune of $1. Cabrera dodged a bullet by not being obviated at the real trade deadline and has been stellar the last few weeks. Nice pick up. Grade: B-
Friday, August 03, 2007
TransAction Friday
Please allow me to introduce myself: I'm a man of no wealth and a fat face. I might not get called up for a long, long time, but the CoBas have money to waste. I have the body type of Bobby Jenks after eating a side of beef. Or maybe I'm more Wickman-like, either way just call me "Chief."Pleased to meet me.
Won't you guess my name?
Anyone? Anyone? Who is this guy?
If you guessed "Joba Chamberlain" it's only because you're the GM of the Consummate Bastards.
Otherwise, you are like 99.3% of Fantasy Baseball Players, Non-Yankee Fan Division and have no idea who this dude is.
Well let's see what we can find out about the chubby guy, aside from the "cost $1 fantasy dollar" and "took Derrick Turnbow's roster spot" items.
- His father is of Native American descent (Winnebago Tribe)
- His birth name was Justin
- He went 10-2 with a 2.81 ERA for the 2005 Nebraska Cornhuskers
- He was drafted by the Yankees at No. 41 in the 2006 amateur draft
- Pre-season 2007, he was ranked at the 4th Best Yankee's Propsect and 75th Prospect Overall by Baseball America
- According to the Lincoln Nebraska Star Journal, Joba could be called up by the Yankees as soon as today (8/3) to pitch out of the pen
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