This Week In DCBA #3: Slipstream Cresting

All The Wrong Cubs 245.5 @ Bucketheads 345
Cubs' pitching hits rough patch. Gorzellany's 2 2/3 IP + Wang's 4.0 IP = double-0 goose eggs. In a nod to Babe Ruth, staff as whole produces 7.14 ERA. Hitters hinder, don't help, obviously not matched up against their pitching counterparts, putting only 2 balls over the wall. Pitching: 9th out of 10. Hitting: 9th out of 10. The consistency of a soft-boiled egg.
Buckets led by Chipper with 42 pts.; Chipper led by trainers to clubhouse with strained quad. Westbrook chips in 31 pts. from the bump in 2 starts; will miss at least that many after being bumped to the DL.
Fun With On-Pace: Nate McLouth (ATWC) - 255 Hits! Chipper Jones (Buckets) - 289 Hits!

Festivus Miracles 288.5 @ Slipstream Starlings 419.5
Miracles bumped from top spot. Pitchers put out 2.77 ERA. Batters fail to hit bombs, just plain bomb. Team batting average league-low .251.
Starlings sterling, route rivals. The lesser Santana (Ervin) is magic, 15 IP for 46.5 points. Utley amazes, clobbers cinco clouts.
Fun With On-Pace: Jake Peavy (FM) - 24-0! Chase Utley (SS) - 72 HR!

The Darned Sox 368.5 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 290.5
Strong stretch for Sox. Slugging swingers swell the stats - 247 batting points alone. Starters scuffle, but closers clampdown 5 saves.
Flowers' fizzle. Pitchers are chucking (florid 2.56 ERA) while batters are sucking (flaccid .362 slugging percentage).
Fun With On-Pace: Johan Santana (TDS) - 18 Losses! Brandon Webb (NSFF) - 34 Wins!

Manriques 408.5 @ Broken Angels 320
Manriques sneak into the win column. 2 hitters over 40 points, 2 pitchers over 30 points.
Angels have a long way to climb. Worst start in franchise history. League leading 48 point effort from John Danks goes to waste.
Fun With On-Pace: Andruw Jones (Naps) - 25 RBI! Adam Dunn (Angels) - 178 Walks!

Da Prop Joes 253 @ The Consummate Bastards 280.5
Joes 0-3 for second year in a row. Soriano's bad timing leaves Willingham's game-changing 31 points on bench. Keith Foulke scores 0 - an improvement over "Sweaty" Joe Borowski.
Bastards benefit from bounceback by Miguel Cabrera. 1-5 in QS, 0-0 in saves results in league-low 82.5 pitching points.
Fun With On-Pace: Ryan Howard (Joes) - 226 Strikeouts! Phillip Hughes (CoBas) - 24 Losses!