TransAction Monday

Welcome back to TransAction Monday, DCBA'ers. Commissioner Emeritus Johnston, here. I may no longer have any vote on the esteemed Council of the Rusted Kuntz, but that doesn't prevent me from taking out the coup on you, dear leaguemates.

And let's start with the man in charge, the man who is collecting our league fees, Mr. Manriques, who spent $5 (fantasy) on Joakim "Leaf" Soria, closer of the First Week Champs: The Kansas City Royals. Soria had a pretty remarkable 34 points last week (3 Saves, 7 K in 4 IP, 0.0000000 ERA). I'm not sure if the Royals can continue to win, but if they produce more save opportunities, Soria seems like 'da Man[riques]. Manny Corpse-Ass was dropped to make way for Soria.

The other big spender on the week was The Darned Sox, who pocketed CBS Sports coverboy Clayton Kershaw for $4, while dropping the extraneous and DL-bound Chad "NoCo" Cordero. Kershaw was last seen sitting next to a man in a gabardine suit (who may or may not be a spy) riding a Greyhound to Jacksonville, FLA, where he'll spend most of the summer toiling as a Sun (Dodgers' AA Affiliate). But if and when Kershaw gets called up to the Show, and if the National League hitters are anything like the Single & Double-A hitters Kershaw has faced over the last two seasons: Look Out. We're talking 217 Ks in 159 IP (12.29 K/9) with a 2.72 ERA. Will the Sox have the patience to wait it out until he provides some current value? Ticktock, ticktock, ticktock.

The Sox also picked up Eric Gagne ($1) for Tim Wakefield in a move that can best be described as Garbage In/Garbage Out, or, as the kids say: GIGO.

Da RoboProp Joes, owner of the First Overall RoboPick in the 2008 DCBA RoboDraft, put the RoboBid Machine on the 'WayBack' setting and picked up some Keith Foulke for $1. (What, was Billy Koch not available?) Foulke posted 33 points last week, netting 3 Holds and 6 K's in 5 IP. One can only really understand this move when one examines da roster of da Joes: RP: Joe Borowski. But alas, da Joes didn't even start Foulke; JoBo is there right now in the starting lineup. Just look. There he is, right next to the -3.5 points. Brade Lidge, who is now OFF the DL, was let go by da Joes to make room for Foulke.

Da Joes also picked up Mr. March 31 - April 6, Xavier Nady ($1), dropping real-life teammate Adam LaRoche. Nady's 39-point first week lead all hitters (tied with Chase Utley). It was worth a dollar to see if Nady remains hot.

The Slipstream Starlings picked up Chicago Public Radio's Carlos "Hernandez" Gomez for $1, releasing Travis Buck back to the wild. Gomez, a Twin, apparently is eligible at LF, CF and RF. CBS Sports lists his two greatest fantasy attributes: ultra-confident and super-speedy. Time for some new scoring categories!

The Consummate Bastages are the first team in fantasy history to pick up a coach, nabbing Yankees bench coach (and former Royals skipper) Tony Pena ($1), a career .260/.309/.364 hitter. Apparently he's eligible at RP, as he replaces Troy Percival as the Bastards starting reliever. Now I've seen everything.

And the Broken Angels drop minor-league back-up 3B/LF Josh Fields for bench fodder Jose Lopez ($1).

See you next week!