TransAction Monday

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.

When you gonna give me some points, Carmona?
Ooh you make my money go, my money go
Pitch it like you're straining your joints, Carmona

Never gonna stop or give it up.
Such a filthy arm.
Always get it up when you called up from the farm

My my my i yi WOO

M M M My Carmona...

So far this season, the Slipstream Starlings have shown a real Knack for picking up players as they are shooting into the stratosphere. This week, another high-riser is pocketed as Fausto Carmona is picked up for $4. (Please raise your hand if you, yourself, gentle reader, put in a bid for Carmona too.) The wickedly disappointing Anthony Reyes was dropped to make room.

Carmona, who threwe ye olde CG/SHO last time out on the mound, is an interesting pitcher. Of all 39 MLB pitchers (who have thrown at least 20 IP) who are averaging 16 fantasy points or more per game start so far this year -- and Carmona is sitting pretty at 14th place with 17.71 points per start -- he ranks DEAD LAST in Ks per 9. You go from High (Randy Johnson with 11.85 K/9) to Middle (Curt Schilling at 7.43 K/9) to DEAD LAST (Fausto with 3.65 K/9). But alas, K/9 counts for nothing in DCBA, save for interesting water cooler chatter topics. What matters are the points. And as long as Carmona is providing, he shall remain a Slipstream Starling.

Nothing puts a sheen on a team more than a new coat of high Glaus paint. In one of the shrewder moves of the young season, 'Da Infidels cast in cast-off Troy Glaus for $4. Yeah, yeah, yeah, with Glaus comes the ever-present DL risk, but when he's playing, he's producing to the tune of over 1 point per plate appearance...

Top Three Third Basemen -- Points Per Plate Appearance
1. Alex Rodriguez -- 1.19
2. Troy Glaus -- 1.09
3. Chipper Jones -- 1.03

You cannot beat that for $4 off the waiver wire. Especially when you consider who 'Da Infidels left behind: Scott Rolen, owner of 0.62 points per plate appearance, which is just a touch BELOW Cesar Izturis's brother Maicer's 0.63!

Speaking of low-K, hi-Point pitchers, Not So Fragile Flowers paid $2 for a couple Jorge Sosa starts this week. Like Carmona (see above), Sosa is up there in points per game start. In fact, he's tied for 4th place (with Jamie Shields) at 19.33. (However, it should certainly be noted that Sosa has only had 3 starts; he's only pitched 20 innings.) And like Carmona (see above), Sosa is down there in K/9: 5th-to-last with a 5.40 K/9. But again, if he can put up some fantasy points, by all means start the SOB. Orlando "The Duke" Hernandez was dropped.

Also joining the NSFF is Hafner-Lite (or, if you prefer, Hafner-Right): Ryan Garko ($1) while extraneous closer Chris Ray was dropped. Like his left-handed-swinging, just-as-ugly, as-big-a-butcher-in-the-field teammate Travis Hafner, Ryan Garko can swing it. Actually, since May 1, Garko has been swingin' it and bringin' it, while Hafner has been scufflin' it and shufflin' it.

May 1, 2007 --> May 20, 2007:

Ryan Garko: .393/.424/.656
Travis Hafner: .203/.407/.390

One suspects that Hafner will soon shake loose and Garko will soon come down to earth, but used in moderation when he's hot, Garko is a nice pick-up.

The Darned Sox decided to put Hank Blalock's roster spot to good use and picked up Greg Maddux for $2. 2007 Vintage Maddux may not go down as easy as the Maddux from 1992-1999, but it still pours, and, depending on the week, you can still polish off an entire bottle in 97 pitches.

Don't look now, league, but the Festivus Miracles have picked up Bryan Bullington ($1) of the Pirates [minor league club], former first-overall amateur draft pick from 2002 (chosen ahead of dudes like B.J. Upton, Prince Fielder, Jeremy Hermida, Khalil Greene, Nick Swisher, Scott Kazmir, Joe Blanton and Jeff Francoeur). I don't know much about Bullington. He may get called up by the Pirates and join the starting rotation. Or he may not. But get a load of this: three names from Baseball Prospectus' player comps for Bullington: Dick Pole (former Cubs coach), Dallas Green (former Cubs GM), and Ed Lynch (former Cubs GM). Wow. Just...wow. Speaking of wowing me, Javier Vazquez was released to make room.

Sure, Jose Contreras might be scuffling a bit. And you know you're scuffling when teammate John Danks (14.07) is beating you in points per game start (13.94), but Contreras is definitely worth a $1 flier, especially when he would just be a component piece on the league-leading (in points) Savage Sickos. Bye-bye, Joe Crede.

The Consumate Bastards are trying another helping of Jeremy Hermida ($1), since the 2006 serving was so goshdarn delicious. He's healthy now, and raking. (Hermida, not the CBs.) In the week since he's been active, Hermida has posted a line of .417/.500/.750. Rocco balDeLli was released to make room.

TransAction Mondays are provided by Commissioner Johnston for entertainment/reference purposes only and should be taken in the spirit in which they are written: with camaraderie and affection. TransActions are usually graded on the FAAB Scale, where F, A, A, and B represent whatever is convenient in any given week. However, this week, CJ couldn't be bothered. No big loss, if you ask me.