TransAction Monday

At 6' 2", an even 200 pounds, and nary a red hair or mustache in sight, Ryan Braun might not cut the same imposing figure as the Paper Towel Hunk, but when it comes to swinging a big stick, Braun the Brewer is the Man.





Hank Greenberg, Shawn Green, Lou Boudreau, Kevin Youkilis -- these are the great Jewish American Sluggers ("JASs") to play in the majors. Is Ryan Braun the next? The Festivus Miracles -- in a surprise bid of $6 -- paid for the rights to find out. It's a nice, gutsy pick-up for the Miracles, seeing as they continue to start Choad Figgins and his 0.47 points per plate appearance (which is a touch behind Pablo Ozuna's 0.51 and a tad ahead of Tony Graffanino's 0.46). Braun's call-up has been eagerly anticipated by Brewers fans and fantasy baseball fiends alike. Might have something to do with his .354/.426/.726 line at AAA. Eric Chavez was sent packing to make room.

Don't look now, league, but The Consummate Bastards are a-churnin'-and-a-burnin' the roster at both ends. Blockbuster moves are sure to follow. Check your inbox for trade offers. In? Stephen Drew ($1). Out? Khalil Green. In? Chad Billingsley ($1). Out? Jeremy Hermida. Billingsley is worthy of a speculative pick-up, as there are rumbles out of L.A. that an SP slot will soon open up. Will Billingsley get the call or will he be Garza'd out of a job?

How sad are things in the land of the Jackanapes. While Keeper Starter turned Middle Reliever turned Closer Brett Myers was shuttled off to the DL, the Jackanapes turned their crying eyes toward Jason Isringhausen ($1). To make room for this blockbuster pick-up, the Jackanapes once again let go of Matt Garza, who keeps getting Billingsley'd out of a job.


TransAction Mondays are provided by Commissioner Johnston for entertainment/reference purposes only and should be taken in the spirit in which they are written: with camaraderie and affection. TransActions are usually graded on the FAAB Scale, where F, A, A, and B represent whatever is convenient in any given week. However, this week, CJ couldn't be bothered. No big loss, if you ask me.