TWIDCBA: Week 13

He got game.

With The Darned Sox contributing once again this week, you'll find a few words from a team on top, and a few words from a team on the bottom. Digest this medium-rare edition at your leisure.

Not So Fragile Flowers (294.5) @ The Darned Sox (271.5)
Using last week's recap as bulletin board fodder, the NSFFs put their internal differences aside to get some payback from The DamnedArrogant Sox, who have lost two weeks in a row for the first time all year. Is their charmed existence over after trading Hafner? The NSFFs were led by ace closers Joe Borowski (30.5) and Country Billy Wagner (23.5). Grady Sizemore took up for the NSFFs other under-achieving outfielders. Word has it from Sox management that they weren't actually beaten by the NSFFs but by their own futility: Barrett (9), Zimmerman (8), Matsui (10), Ordonez (8), Homer "BlewChip" Bailey (-2), Joe Blanton (12.5). NSFFs decidedly won the battle of the benches (123.5-66.5). International pariah ChipperJones (NSFF) shocked the world with 30 points. Dontrelle Willis (TDS) choogled for only 23.5 in two starts, though one was abbreviated by a 1.5 hour rain delay.

Jackanapes 308.5 @ All The Wrong Cubs 390
Seems mighty strange to recall when the Houstons played in a mammoth dome that deflated offensive performance. Here in 2007, however, it was a slugging Astro who led the way on offense in this game, as Carlos Lee knocked out 3 HR for 37 points to help ATWC hold onto first place. In addition to Lee and Curtis Granderson (another 2 triples), ATWC squeezed 10 starts out of their staff, and even though their pitchers only won 1 game while losing 5, they did enough to qualify for 8 quality starts, and the bullpen chipped in with a league-high 5 saves. The Jackanapes provided a lesson in the value of those relievers, as their tandem combined to go 0-2 with 1 blown slave. Judging by the scores of Colon & Santana, along with Escobar in this game (1.5 points), I'm going to have to say that the Angels didn't have a good week. Also not having a good week was All-Star Jackanapes outfielder Carl Crawford, 3-25 - all singles, and nary a walk. The loss makes it two in a row for the two-time champion Napes, putting them 3 behind the pace of ATWC.

Savage Sickos (384) @ Naps (283.5)
Try as they might, the Naps continue to circle the drain. This week they got beat by more than 100 points, which doesn't mean anything more than when the F. Miracles beat TDS by one point. Let's see if we can learn from this: Two-start starter and blue chip John Danks rolled out a fine 30.5 week for the Naps' bench, but badass young 1B Adrian Gonzalez put up only 10. Rich Hill of the Real Cubs rolled out 4.5 for the lineup that counted. Second best pitcher of our lifetime and probably the more impressive than the best Greg Maddux threw a respectable 20.5 in one start. Ted Lilly (Real Cub/Nap) threw a mediocre 14 in his one win. Demoted closer Brian Fuentes got saddled with three (3!) loses for 0.5 point. Hey, he kicked Embree's ass. New Nap Travis Hafner and really old Nap Barry L. Bonds led a respectable offense with 34 and 32 points, respectively. The Sickos were led by three two-start starters who all had QSs. Kuddos to J.Garland (41), J. Lackey (39), and possible all-star game starter B.Penny (41.5). That's the gift of good pitching.

Consummate Bastards (312) @ Da Infidels (251)
The Bastards won. Da Infidels' infield, which looks good enough on paper, underperformed with the exception of Ryan Howard who seems to be coming alive (31). Will the Infidels woo free agent and now thirdbase eligible Nomar Garciaparra? No man should have to sufferthe shit that is Troy Glaus (2-20 with 5 SO and 3 BB this week). Slumping Pirate Jason Bay squirted a measly 8 points this week. But you can't pin it all on the players: Judd Hirsch (8) again got the start in place of Bronson Bad Music Arroyo (17.5). Ryan Dempster didn't even play in real life. That sucks. Rumor has it Jerry Narron is a managerial candidate for the Infidels. The Bastards played a team game with no one doing anything exceptional, save CC Sabathia who put up his waist size (53) in two starts, both QS, and one CG. Player of the Week honors to him.

Festivus Miracles 427 @ Slipstream Starlings 406.5
You can bet your #4 & #5 starting pitchers - packaged with your backup 1st baseman - that Lance Berkman is no longer on the block, as his 4 HR/44 pt. performance lifted the Festivi to a hard-won victory. In addition to the resurgent Berkman, the rest of the team put together league-high totals in hits, runs, rbi, doubles, triples, homers, and stolen bases; the 267-point offensive outburst was the most for a team this season, and could've given the output of entire teams a run for their money. The Starlings were in the unfortunate position of having to face the Festivi this week, when they would've won against any other team. Despite putting forth a week 13-best 199.5 pitching points, the Starlings were let down by the chin-pubed Josh Beckett (6.5), although the alternative choices put together [Daniel Cabrera (7.5), Fausto Carmona (-5.5!), Bartolo Colon (15) and Ervin Santana (2)] still wouldn't have been able to erase the margin of defeat.

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All-Star Representation, By Team:

9: Savage Sickos, Slipstream Starlings
8: The Consummate Bastards
7: All The Wrong Cubs
6: Festivus Miracles
5: Not So Fragile Flowers, Naps
4: Da Infidels
3: Jackanapes, The Darned Sox

All-Star Free Agents:

Placido Polanco
Dmitri Young
Freddy Sanchez