The Trading Post

Howdy do for 2008, and boy howdy, what a start to it!

First, Turner Classic Bastards, as part of the almost-championship dismantling, trade stalwart starter, longtime Bastard, top 2008 fantasy/NL Cy Young award winner and scourge of curbside check-in Jake Peavy to Festivus Miracles for The Hebrew Hammer, who has as of yet to play one full season in these our major leagues. We may already have a winner for the 2008 Lyle Overpay Award.

My thoughts on this transaction?


Secondly, The Country's Bastards (Yogurt), in a kind of alarming, mostly ill-conceived and like as not illogical about-face part ways with their 2005 first round pick (after potential 30-game winner Randy Johnson) and one-man wrecking crew (he'll have to be this year) Albert Pujols, Friend of the Mentally Challenged. Don't Jesus' hem him in! In return for this unique, Hall of Fame -bound jerque, Manriques (v. January 2008) give up The Best Pitcher In Baseball, Johan Santana, freeing themselves from the trade rumor fatigue and solidifying arguably the best keeper infield since 2007.

My thoughts on this transaction?

Draft Order

In the event draft picks are bandied about in trade discussions, listed below is the 2008 draft order.

1. Da Infidels
2. Jackanapes
3. Naps
4. The Darned Sox
5. Festivus Miracles
6. Not So Fragile Flowers
7. Savage Sickos
8. All The Wrong Cubs
9. The Consummate Bastards
10. Slipstream Starlings

[Reverse order for even-numbered rounds]

Starlings Perched On Top

Congratulations to Mr. Rob and his Slipstream Starlings squadron on their 2007 DCBA Championship.

Showing a cat-like sense of balance, the Starlings offset a disappointing year from keeper shortstop Miguel Tejada and an inconsistent season from 1st round pick Jeremy Bonderman with standout seasons from Matt Holliday and Josh Beckett. This impressive management enabled the Starlings to field a high-octane lineup that was able to accomplish a league-high 4 top performances during the regular season - and then carry on with 2 more in the playoffs.

Hear what I said? The leaders are them.

Congratulations to Mr. Brent and The Consummate Bastards for another fine season. At 0/4 in his playoff payoff as a GM, he's still one behind Billy Beane (0/5), but has a chance to overtake John Schuerholz (1/14), or perhaps with a good run tie Branch Rickey (4/8).

I'd also like to thank Commissioner Johnston and rookie TDS Hooker for their superlative work on this here league blog, contributing to an invaluable resource of statistics, insight and commentary that no doubt contributed directly to 9 of 10 teams not winning the championship.

Finally, if anyone has an extra Cubs playoff ticket....

Sailing to the Championship

While the battle between The Consummate Bastards and the Slipstream Starlings rages on to determine the third DCBA champion in three years, let us reflect on how they got here.

Matt Holliday (Week 24)
11-27
6 HR, 11 RBI
.407 avg/.500 obp/1.148 slg
59 points - most in the league this season


Alex Rodriguez (Week 24)
4-22, 4 1b
0 HR, 1 RBI
.182 avg/.308 obp/.182 slg
13 points - his lowest total of the year

FACT: No team has ever won the championship with Alex Rodriguez.

Good luck to Slipstream Starlings and The Consummate Bastards, certified ARod-free.

Playoff Watch - Final Edition

I look forward to anything and everything possibly happening between now and the final pitch Sunday night, but seriously, this is all over. Good season, everyone, but even better for these guys:

Congratulations, All The Wrong Cubs, on winning the Unstoppable Forces division, the only division to ever produce DCBA champions. Do them proud.

Savage Sickos, despite a late-season losing streak, have captured the slot of Wild Card #1. They'll be seeded #3 for the playoffs. 3 straight years in the playoffs, well done.

Slipstream Starlings, slow and steady the whole year, creep in the backdoor as Wild Card #2, seed #4. This will be the first appearance for them in the playoffs. Have a ball.

The matchups for the semifinal round look to be as follows:

All The Wrong Cubs (#1) vs. Slipstream Starlings (#4)
The Consummate Bastards (#2) vs. Savage Sickos (#3)

Having learned nothing from Dan Rather, the matchups for the final round will be:

The Consummate Bastards vs. Slipstream Starlings.

All of that is not written in stone, however, just a simple blogging program, but one thing is certain: Da Infidels hold the #1 pick in 2007 (unless they trigger the 2,000-point bonus).

Playoff Watch 2007 - The Final Week

For those of you who may have lost track, it's true - the The Consummate Bastards, with their defeat of the Savage Sickos in Week 22, have clinched a playoff berth.

Thus far, that is all that has been settled, as in the Unstoppable Forces Division, the Cubs and Flowers battle for control with the winner claiming the divisional title.

What does that mean for everyone else? It means that the Sickos, having lead in the points race for nearly the entire year, are all but guaranteed entry into the playoffs as a wildcard team, leaving room for only one other.

Who will it be? The odds at the moment favor the Slipstream Starlings, who hold a nearly 100-point lead over their next closest competitor.

My prediction: the Da Infidels score 1,000 points, triggering the much discussed but little known 1,000-point bonus, which places them as the 4th team in the playoffs. This also grants them the right to claim 5 players from each team to form a 'superteam.' The superteam scores 1,500 points in the first round of the playoffs, which causes the 1,500-point bonus to take effect. Unfortunately, the 1,500-point bonus prize is taking batting practice against Rick Ankiel, who beans Aamer. Aamer is unable to submit a lineup for the championship game and loses; Ankiel then forgets how to hit, and after 15 straight plate appearances where the bat travels farther than the ball, he retires. He then goes back to the minor leagues to become an umpire. During his very first game, he's forced to toss a manager from the game - and that manager travels 375 feet at 90 miles per hour.

Wild Card Standings -- as of 9/2/07

PLAYOFF PICTURE - UPDATED! - UNSTOPPABLE FORCES DIVISION

With their win over The Darned Sox last week, All The Wrong Cubs knocked out not only TDS, but also the only championship franchises the league has ever known, Jackanapes and Naps; and with Not So Fragile Flowers taking one on the chin, the Cubs are only 1 win away from clinching the division. UF division in the style of Longfellow: Two if by points, one if by record.


All the Wrong Cubs (14-7): vs. Miracles, at Flowers
Hold tiebreaker over: Jackanapes, Sox (Flowers TBD)

Can win the division if they finish 2-0 or 1-1 or, if the Flowers finish 1-1 the Cubs can finish 0-2 and still win the division.
If they finish 0-2, can the Flowers go 2-0, the Flowers win the division.

Not So Fragile Flowers (12-9): vs. Jackanapes, vs. Cubs
Hold tiebreaker over: (Cubs, Jackanapes TBD)

Can win the division if they finish 2-0 AND the Cubs finish 0-2.
If they finish 1-1/0-2, they cannot win the division.

Naps (11-10): at Sox, at Jackanapes
Hold tiebreaker over: N/A

Cannot win the division. In golf parlance, they are out 3&2.

The Darned Sox (10-11): vs. Naps, vs. Starlings
Hold tiebreaker over: N/A

Cannot win the division. A win last week vs. the Cubs would've kept it alive for at least 7 more days.

Jackanapes (10-11): at Flowers, vs. Naps
Hold tiebreaker over: N/A

Cannot win the division. A year after snagging the first overall pick, the Napes are now in line for pick #2. Can you say "Kosuke Fukudome?" No, really, can you?

PLAYOFF PICTURE - UPDATED! - IMMOVABLE OBJECTS DIVISION

Contrary to their representation of Immovable Objects, many changes have taken place since last week, as Slipstream Starlings knocked off perrenial front-runners Savage Sickos, placing the Starlings only one game in back of the frontrunners, which now includes The Consummate Bastards. The Festivus Miracles, despite a win, were officially eliminated from divisional contention, although they remain in the thick of the wildcard hunt. While the divisional title is the one sure way to get in, as of today, 4 of the top 5 scoring teams are in the division, and as many as 3 IO teams might wind up in the playoffs.

Savage Sickos (12-9): vs. Bastards, at Infidels.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi (vs. Bastards TBD)

Can win the division if they finish 2-0.
If they finish 1-1, they need to beat the Bastards (cannot lose to Bastards and win the division); they need the Starlings to go 1-1/0-2 (Starlings hold tiebreaker vs. Sickos).
If they finish 0-2, they cannot win the division.

The Consummate Bastards (12-9): at Sickos, at Festivi.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi, Starlings (vs. Sickos TBD)

Can win the division if they finish 2-0.
If they finish 1-1, they need to beat the Sickos (cannot lose to Sickos and win the division).
If they finish 0-2, they cannot win the division.

Slipstream Starlings (11-10): vs. Infidels, at Sox.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi, Sickos

Can win the division if they finish 2-0, the Sickos finish no better than 1-1, and the Bastards go 0-2 (Bastards hold tiebreaker vs. Starlings).
Cannot win the division if they finish 1-1/0-2.

Festivus Miracles (11-10): at Cubs, vs. Bastards.
Hold tiebreaker over: none.

Holding no tiebreakers against the three teams ahead of them in the standings, the Miracles have been mathematically eliminated. Hung out to dry, the Miracles now reside in bubbleland, but they're not quite ready to fold. At the end of Week 21, they sat 1 point out of the last wildcard slot. Week 23 grudgematch vs. Bastards is one to watch.

Da Infidels (2-19): Who will they take with the #1 pick in next year's draft? Will they trade it away again? Many questions surround the Da Infidels, some of which could be cleared up in the next installment of the Rusty Kuntz blog's "Getting To Know..." series. Stay tuned.

Wild Card Standings -- as of 8/26/07

Transaction de Monday

My name is Timmy Lupus and my favorite player is A-Rod.

It's the Little League World Series edition of Transaction de Monday. The final edition.


Leading off are the Naps who no longer see themselves circling the drain and seemingly intend on being contenders. A couple of rentals indicate this conclusion: Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe were acquired from the Darnedsox for picks in the fifth and seventh rounds in 2008, respectively. The Naps also dropped Mike Piazza (who was started this week in place of Jarrod Saltalamacchia and his 7 RBI game) and Texas DH Jason Botts. They then dropped the once glorious but ever ugly Todd Helton and picked up Jake Westbrook for $4.

My name is Mike Engelberg and my favorite player is Mo Vaughn.

I must admit I am a little grumpy tonight. Apparently, The Consummate Bastards were on eBay this evening with the intention of bidding big dough at the last possible moment on a guitar I'd been lusting after for weeks. In real life, as in fantasy life, TCBs got their man. At least in fantasy baseball, they can only keep five of their gems. This week, TCBs got a little bit of comeuppance--but not much--when the much-anticipated return of Edgar Reteria was thwarted in his first AB back from the DL. Replacing Renteria is Khalil "It ain't easy being Baha'i" Greene for $1. Greene's hitting only .246.

My name is Ahmad Abdul-Rahim and my favorite player is Henry Aaron.

The Darnedsox, obviously packing it in (see above), took theoretical pizza out of the mouths of DCBA members by dropping $5 on Tim Wakefield. Not only does this further implicate TDS in a Red Sox fetish, it suggests that he's too late: Wakefield is 8-2 in his last 10 starts, and that's bound to break sooner or later, right? Oh yeah, Wakefield's replacing Lowe. Or Pedro. Whichever one Wakefield isn't replacing gets replaced by Paul Byrd for $4. Say what you will about these moves. TDS are still handsomely funding that pizza party.

My name is Tanner Boyle and my favorite player is Billy Martin.

The Jackanapes moved Big Jim Thome to the dustbin, even among rumors that Ozzie Guillen might move him to the leadoff slot to get him extra ABs to help him hit his 500th HR, for Cincy 1B Joey Votto, $1. The Jackanapes are banking on Votto being a dazzling September call-up, obviously. Votto has yet to play in the Majors this year. The Jackanapes also signed Cameron Maybin The Burrito for $2. We're guessing there won't be room to keep this "future fantasy stud," so we should all give a collective thank you to the 'Napes for bringing this guy to our attention.

My name is Amanda Wurlizer and my favorite player is Wade Boggs.

It looks like All the Wrong Cubs get the eye candy tonight. It's only fair: They've suffered through the shit storm that has been Chris Capuano. CC started the year 6-0, but has since gone 0-11. **Shiver** This guy used to be keeper material. Replacing Capuano will be Esteban Loaiza for $2. Loaiza's a sure thing to improve on Capuano's spot (who couldn't?) Rumor has it that ATWCs are planning a Esteban Loaiza Guitar Lesson night sometime around Sept. 15th. Get your tickets now, gents. ATWC rotated Joel Pineiro back to the rear and brought Bengie Molina to the front, $1, to spell Joe Mauer. Tough luck having to replace a minor injury at the deadline.

A gift to all of you:

http://www.despardes.com/Entertainment/chanachoor/oct04/tatum-oneil-big.jpg

TransAction Thursday

How thin is the league at SS that The Consummate Bastards suffered through three months of Stephen Drew, a period in which he posted a line of .225/.297/.398. Or maybe it's not a question of a thin position but of stubbornness on the CB's part, wishing and hoping and praying for the Inner Drew Stud to emerge. (Maybe next year.) At any rate, Edgar Renteria ($1) -- coming off an ankle injury -- is a risky pickup for the stretch run, especially when there are real-deal-studs such as Bill E. Hall available on-the-block.

How thin is the league at RF that The Consummate Bastards suffered through four months of Delmon Young, a period in which he posted a line of .286/.317/402. Or maybe it's not a question of a thin position but of stubbornness on the CB's part, wishing and hoping and praying for the Inner Young Stud to emerge. (Maybe next year.) At any rate, Jeremy Hermida ($1) -- coming off a hip injury -- is a risky pickup for the stretch run, especially when there are real-deal-studs such as Jermaine Dye available on-the-block.

And recent pickup Edinson "Sleepy" Volquez gets dropkicked back to the pool whilst Andrew Miller ($1) is reeled in for another go-round. (Miller was signed by the CB's for $15 ["giggle," as they say], traded, and was dropped for Jason Botts.)

The Jackanapes waste no time in wasting more fantasy dollars in picking up Kurt Suzuki "Method" ($1) -- catcher for the Oakland Athletics. Suzuki is neither of great current value nor of great keeper value. Ramon Hernandez, who is neither of great current value nor of great keeper value was sent packing. Adiós, tú perdedor sin valor.

The Not So Fragile Flowers pay $3 to find out if Joel Zumaya has still got it, Fonz. The roster price -- Aaron Cook -- was negligible. Heading into the stretch run, it's a nice hedge against a Borowski implosion.

Playoff Watch - 2007

More mumbo-jumbo scenarios that will mean nothing come Monday when it's all hashed out.

Unstoppable Forces Division
The newly minted American controls his own fate here; will anyone be able to stop him? Would it be unpatriotic? Meanwhile, the Sox, Naps and Napes all find themselves in single-elimination land, and need the moon to be in Aquarius while the sun shines on the rings of Uranus. They're behind the 8-ball of the magic variety and it says: not bloody likely. And let's not forget the X factor in all of this, Michael X. Roberts - will his squadron wear the laurels or has he been handed a bouquet of pansies?


All the Wrong Cubs (13-7): at Sox, vs. Miracles, at Flowers
Hold tiebreaker over: Jackanapes, Sox (Flowers TBD)

Can win the division if: they finish 3-0.
If they finish 2-1: & beat the Flowers;
If they finish 1-2: & beat the Flowers;
If they finish 0-3: cannot win the division.

Not So Fragile Flowers (12-8): at Naps, vs. Jackanapes, vs. Cubs
Hold tiebreaker over: (Cubs, Jackanapes TBD)

Can win the division if: they finish 3-0.
If they finish 2-1: & beat the Cubs;
If they finish 1-2: & beat the Cubs & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Jackanapes finish 2-1 or worse & the Sox finish 2-1 or worse & the Naps finish 2-1 or worse.
If they finish 0-3: cannot win the division.

The Darned Sox (10-10): vs. Cubs, vs. Naps, vs. Starlings
Hold tiebreaker over: Jackanapes, Flowers (Naps TBD)

Can win the division if: they finish 3-0 & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Flowers finish 1-2 or worse.
If they finish 2-1/1-2/0-3: cannot win the division.

Naps (10-10): vs. Flowers, at Sox, at Jackanapes
Hold tiebreaker over: Cubs, Flowers (Sox TBD)

Can win the division if: they finish 3-0 & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Flowers finish 1-2 or worse.
If they finish 2-1/1-2/0-3: cannot win the division.

Jackanapes (10-10): at Bastards, at Flowers, vs. Naps
Hold tiebreaker over: Naps (Flowers TBD)

Can win the division if: they finish 3-0 & the Cubs finish 0-3 & the Sox finish 2-1 or worse.
If they finish 2-1/1-2/0-3: cannot win the division.

Playoff Watch - 2007

Please to be noting this is merely the rundown of the scenarios to win the divisional title. Wildcard not included.

Immovable Objects Division

Savage Sickos (12-8): at Starlings, vs. Bastards, at Infidels.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi (vs. Starlings, Bastards TBD)

Can win the division if: they finish 3-0;
they finish 2-1 and beat the Bastards;
they finish 1-2 (beating the Starlings) and the Bastards go 1-2;
they finish 1-2 (beating the Bastards) and the Starlings go 1-2.


The Consummate Bastards (11-9): vs. Napes, at Sickos, at Festivi.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi, Starlings (vs. Sickos TBD)

Can win the division if: they finish 3-0;
they finish 2-1 and beat the Sickos, the Sickos finish 1-2/0-3;
they finish 1-2 and the Sickos finish 0-3.

Slipstream Starlings (10-10): vs. Sickos, vs. Infidels, at Sox.
Hold tiebreaker over: Festivi (vs. Sickos TBD)

Can win the division if: they finish 3-0, the Sickos finish 1-2/0-3 & the Bastards finish 1-2/0-3.

Festivus Miracles (10-10): at Infidels, at Cubs, vs. Bastards.
Hold tiebreaker over: none.

Can win the division if: they finish 3-0, the Sickos finish 0-3 & the Bastards finish 1-2/0-3 & the Starlings finish 2-1/1-2/0-3.

Da Infidels (2-18):
Elimidated, but can deliver Capitol Punishment and screw over the Festivi, Starlings and Sickos. They've played all year just. for. this. moment.

Transaction de Monday

Let us exhume a parade of transactions this period past:

The Consummate Bastards were active more than ever, so let's start with them. First of all, they dumped Adam Jones for SP Franklin Morales, who you'll know as Ritchie Valens' big bro in La Bamba. Morales is a "long-term keeper option." This goes to show you just how deeply TCBs plumb the Free Agent pool for prospects. The dude pitches in Colorado for God's sake. Even at $1, I call this half-thought. Also picked up was Edison Volquez who pitches in Texas when he's not stuck in Triple-A OKC, $1. WTF!?! Placido Polanco, $1, who sounds like a disease replaces Rickie "9 1/2" Weeks at 2B. Finally, TCBs traded for Carl Crawford and Scott Kazmir who for all I know may be Ted Williams and Bob Gibson because they play in Tampa, and I just can't keep up with that team. Those dudes came over from the...

Jackanapes who got Phil Hughes who the 'Napes originally signed for $11 [giggle], and was last picked up by someone else for a buck. Along for the ride is bigass badass CC Sabathia and some dude named Billy Butler who plays in KC, which is a little like Tampa in my book. I suppose I'll look up Butler for you. Hold on. It doesn't say much other than he's a long-term keeper prospect. Let one of those guys who pays for premium scouting reports tell you about him. All I know is that he was born after The Joshua Tree was recorded, which is just fucked up in my book. The Jacks also acquired Chocolate Melky Cabrera from the...

Not So Fragile Flowers who got Kelvim Escobar in return. This guy is for my money the most unpredictable of fantasy baseball commodities: Handsome in the K's, but rather sloppy in the W/L department. The present looks to be the exception. Let's see if anyone finds themselves forgetting his past win percentage next year. NSFF also picked up 1B Adam LaRoche, $1, for Buddy Carlyle, who as I suggested in a previous post, is an intolerable little turd.

All the Wrong Cubs' guardian angel has finally arrived in the form of Joel Pineiro, a two start starter, for Aaron Hill, 2B, who won't start any games at all. Also trading places were Jack Cust, $1, who replaced another guy with a weird last name--Ryan Garko. Cust is hot again. For some reason, When I hear "Jack Cust" I think "Brad Fullmer."

Let's finish on a positive note: The Savage Sickos, outbid at least one club and got Ubaldo Jimenez, $10, who pushed out the ever-tardy John Danks. How long will it take Danks to reach his potential? Right. Danks was a Ranger find. So was Todd Van Poppel and Bobby Witt. What is it about these young, bluechip pitchers and their weird-ass names? Yovani. Ubaldo. Homer.

Tip-top everyone!

Wild Card Standings -- as of 8/19/07

SEASON TRANSACTION DEADLINE

As you may or may not know, this weekend marks the end of trades and free agent pick-ups.

To quote from the 2007 Edition of the Rules...

"A trading deadline of 11:59 PM on Saturday, August 25, 2007 will be imposed. No trades will be allowed after this time. Additionally, an Add/Drop deadline of 11:59 PM Sunday, August 26, 2007 will be imposed. You may not bid on a Free Agent or drop a player from your roster after this time, except to replace an injured player on your roster. After the transaction deadline, in the event a starting player is placed on the DL, an owner may acquire a Free Agent on the condition that the Free Agent acquisition will be placed immediately (effective at the submission of the weekly lineup) into the starting lineup to replace the injured player."

Just a reminder that Fantasy Dollars cannot be carried over to next season.

Just a further reminder that you may want to keep a few fantasy dollars in your back pocket in case you need to make an injury replacement after the deadline.*

Just a further further reminder that you may only replace a player who has officially been placed on the DL by his team, as voted on by all of you.

*Please contact your two commissioners if (post-deadline) you need to make an injury replacement.

Deadline Dash

Have some disposable dollars?* Here's a look at some disposable numbers. Will these players keep up their performances and help your pennant push? Hell if I know. I'll just let the numbers speak for themselves; if I had any predictive powers I wouldn't be in last place.

Top Free Agent Pitching Performances: 7/16-8/16
Edwin Jackson, TB: 2-2, 30 1/3 IP, 2.37 ERA (84 pts.)
Tim Redding, WAS: 1-2, 39 IP, 2.54 ERA (92 pts.)
Josh Fogg, COL: 3-1, 31 IP, 2.61 ERA (72 pts.)
Kip Wells, STL: 3-1, 38 2/3 IP, 2.79 ERA (98 pts.)
Doug Davis, ARI: 4-0, 40 IP, 3.15 ERA (103 pts.)
Kason Gabbard, TEX: 3-1, 32 2/3 IP, 3.21 ERA (87 pts.)
Paul Maholm, PIT: 3-2, 32 2/3 IP, 3.31 ERA (84 pts.)
Jeff Weaver, SEA: 2-3, 34 1/3 IP, 3.41 ERA (85 pts.)

and the quite less exciting...

Top Free Agent Hitting Performances: 7/16-8/16
Josh Fields, CWS [3b]: 8 HR, 21 RBI (98 pts.)
Mark Ellis, OAK [2b]: 7 2b, 1 3b, 8 HR, 14 RBI (111 pts.)
Nate McLouth, PIT [LF, CF, RF]: 6 2b, 6 HR, 15 RBI (96 pts.)
Frank Thomas, TOR [DH]: 8 2b, 4 HR, 26 RBI (97 pts.)
Jacque Jones, CUB [CF, RF]: 12 2b, 2 HR, 23 RBI (101 pts.)
Pedro Feliz, SF [3b]: 8 2b, 4 HR, 21 RBI (104 pts.)
Geoff Jenkins, MIL [LF, RF]: 8 2b, 5 HR, 14 RBI (84 pts.)






*As stated in The Official DCBA Rules of 2007: "Budgets do not carry over to the next season. Any leftover funds will be collected by the commissioners to help defray the cost of a season-ending pretend pizza party."

TransAction Thursday + TransAction Thursday

Clay Buchholz
Born in Texas
Highly regarded Red Sox Prospect
Cost $3

The Darned Sox
Lives in Texas
Son of Sam Horn
Has $3

A match made in heaven.

"Don't Call Me Taylor" is reportedly on his way to the Big Boys Club for a Friday start, which is a highly anticipated event in New England and certain parts of Texas. The rest of you shall be forgiven for your yawns, shrugs, and 'huh?'s.

Going back to last Thursday lest I be publicly called-out a third time for lack of coverage...

'Da Infidels are the latest team to fall for Chris Duncan and his awesoma three-dolla powa, dumping Jarrod Washburn in the process. I don't think I can sum up Chris Duncan any better than the sponsor of his baseball-reference page:

"He hit the last cardinal HR at the last (and best) Busch Stadium, and had the first hit in the first baseball game in the new Busch Stadium, he's on the way to be one of the best!!! go cards!!!"

With Chris and Shelley Duncan in 'da fold, can Sandy be far behind?

And it wouldn't be a proper DCBA season without the Naps taking a flier on Jason "Ro" Botts ($2), who combines the sweet swing of an Adam Hyzdu, the body type of a Bucky Jacobsen, and the power potential of a Jon Knott.

TWIDCBA - Week 19

Rubbing up scuffed balls...how much worse can it get?

(Keep reading for a clue)

After a short hiatus (the WNBA people - the WNBA!), TWIDCBA returns for the stretch run. Cinch it up and strap it down.

All The Wrong Cubs 263.5 @ Naps 385.5
Record-breaker/baconator Bobby Jenks unable to deliver for division-leaders(t-1), but like the rain, more blame falls on the north side than the south, with Cubbies Lee, Ramirez, (and since-released) Marshall dropping the soap.
Naps pitchers manage to go 1-1 in Cubville, but it's Bucco Gorzellany stepping up in tribute to trademate Matsui, putting up a 55 on the week. Andruw Jones brings up the rear, leading one to speculate that the end is near. Fact: No Curacaoan has played in the MLB past the age of 31 (Randall "Sausage" Simon & Hensely "Bam Bam" Meulens).

Da Infidels 284.5 @ Not So Fragile Flowers 342.5
As luck would have it, the Da Infidels could've beaten two other teams this week, but this wasn't one of them. Despite out-homering the NSFF 8-3, DI weren't able to convert that advantage into a lead large enough to compensate for their pitching deficiencies. Jim Abbott could pitch with one hand, but Jason Hirsh can't pitch with a broken leg?
While some might question the virility of the team with a Casey, Kelly, Grady, Melky, Micah and Chris, the flaming Flowers have pulled off a 7-game winning streak to claim a share of first-place, the best record in the league & guaranteed their first winning season in franchise history. And they owe it all to Barry Zito, of course. You've got to spend money to make money.

Festivus Miracles 252.5 @ Savage Sickos 315.5
Seven pitchers in the starting lineup: 84.5 pts. 4 bench pitchers: 75.5. The Festivi caught no breaks this week, as their pitiful points production dropped them from 2nd in points to 5th, which would be on the outside looking in come playoff time. Brewer bomber Braun bore the load for the FM, leading all scorers.
The Sickos provided some drama this week with Johnny Danks starting off the week in line for 2 starts, then being scratched, then put in for a Sunday start, then being shelled. Rookies. Despite his pasting, however, he paced the staff with 23.5 points. If something crazy happens, I'll be sure to note it, but until then let's just assume that A-Rod led the Sickos' scoring. He did.

Slipstream Starlings 290.5 @ The Consummate Bastards 314.5
In Polish fantasy baseball, you score when you're on the bench, and put up goose eggs when you're in the starting lineup. This isn't Polish fantasy baseball, Troy Tulowitzki, it's the DCBA! Confirming the contention that pitching wins championships, the Starlings were sunk with a mere 5 starts on the week despite a league-high number of at-bats. If there's a hole in the boat, that boat is probably the Maine.
The CoBas 2 MVPs combined for a solid 20 points, but it stands to reason that the Kents are looking out for each other. In another notable development, Francisco Lirirano, who hasn't thrown a pitch this year, was not the low scorer. I repeat: not the low scorer. I didn't see the game, but maybe Yovani Gallardo was throwing with his left hand in tribute to him.

The Darned Sox 313.5 @ Jackanapes 308
In a statistical note of absolutely no significance, the The Darned Sox finally put a visiting team in the win column. The mojo of a returned Travis Hafner, despite his performing like the south end of a northbound pronkey, once again set the The Darned Sox right. Putting the The Darned Sox on his back was Magglio Ordonez, the $75MM player the White Sox couldn't afford, who batted .500 on the week to notch 50 points.
Jim Thome, the $85MM player the White Sox can afford, could not put the Jackanapes on his back - and I mean that literally as well as figuratively, such a balky back has he. And to tie it back to Ordonez to wrap things up, it was that Venezuelan piece of shit motherfucker Carlos Zambrano chipping in to sink the Jackanapes. Solving the equation, it appears that his "first" season started April 1, his "second" season started June 1, and it looks like he's now in season "three." Starting October 1, look out DCBA, Carlos will be back.