The Da Infidels banish Kei Igawa to the land of dirt and ghosts and without a moment’s hesitation take on Akinori Iwamura of the Tampa Bay baseball Devil Rays like a new comfort wife. I think The Da Infidels are being helmed by Mr. Eddie’s Father.
Rating: *
In what will likely be the most touching moment of DCBA Year 2007, Jackanapes welcome back John “Corey” Patterson like a prodigal son: kept, cast off, abused by the Slipstream Starlings, and now returned. Was it the beard? James “Jamie” Shields, we hardly knew ye, because we didn’t really care to.
Rating: ****
If coffee is for closers, then Savage Sickos are going to replace their ordinary brand with the Folgers Crystals of RPs, Jose Valverde. At the crack of the WHIP, you’ll be a free agent, Jose. Chad Billingsley is content with his fate, eating 100 Grand bars in the bullpen.
Rating: ***
Like replacing a bald tire with a carriage wheel, Not So Fragile Flowers unceremoniously dump fifth starter Clay Hensley for upstart fifth starter Micah Owings. Anything times zero is zero, even if it costs a buck.
Rating: **
[****: Mordecai Brown’s Missing Index Finger /***: Jim Abbott’s Missing Hand /**: Al Kaline’s Deformed Foot /*: El Pulpo’s Sixth Finger]
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