TransAction Monday

Sitting at 2-0, an ERA of 3.75, WHIP of .92, 37 Ks in 36 IP with only 7 BBs, and, most importantly, averaging 18.60 fantasy points per game start (compared with Santana's 18.33 and Lackey's 17.40), how on earth was James Shields still a free agent? Oh. Right. Some dumbass dumped him the other week. This week the Slipstream Starlings snatched him up for $4, dropping the dropworthy Jake Westbrook (9.40 points per game start).

On the F-A-A-B grading scale, I give this move a B for Breakout Season Ahead.

Another deserving pitcher languishing on the waiver wire was Braden Looper who was finally picked up ($2) by the Savage Sickos, while letting go of knucklehead Tim Wakefield. Let's check in with the Cardinals Battle Royale of Relievers-Converted-to-Starters:

• Braden Looper: 3-1, 1.19 ERA, 1.00 WHIP, 18:10 K/BB in 33 IP, 17.50 points per g.s.

• Adam Wainwright: 1-2, 6.14 ERA, 1.88 WHIP, 21:16 K/BB in 29.1 IP, 11.00 points per g.s.

Who'd a thunk it. Not me. And certainly not any of you, until now, going into the 5th week.

I give this move an A for A-OK.

The Consumate Bastards didn't let the ink dry on the call-up papers for Hunter Pence before bidding (and winning) the rights for $2. Pence, for those out there who don't know (or don't care) is a highly-regarded Astros prospect with a career minor-league line of .302/.376/.556. That's the good news. The bad news are some of the the player comps from Baseball Prospectus: Kevin Mench, Brian Anderson, David Kelton, and Bobby Crosby.

Will he be a stud or a dud? The world is watching and waiting to find out.

I give this move a B for Baldelli's Backup's Backup.

What's more valuable: a piece-of-shit closer for a good team (say, Bob Wickman of the Braves), or a hot closer on a bad team (say, Al Reyes of the Devil Rays). With that age-old query in mind, the Jackanapes dumped the chump to try to beat the slump and picked up Reyes for $2. How will it turn out? The world is watching and waiting to find out.

I give this move an A for Amusing.

With Akinori Iwamura on the shelf with a strained oblique, 'Da Infidels go for the more straightforward Mike Lowell ($1). And while Greg Maddux's pitches slide by the plate at oblique angles, the Infidels are instead opting for the straight-ass stuff of Jarrod Washburn ($1).

I give these moves an A for Anti-Anfractuous.

The Naps pick up the left hand of darkness, Kei Igawa ($1), to further build an all-lefty staff. Dana Eveland was left wondering what's left. (Nothing, son.)

I give this move a B for Brisk.

And the Not So Fragile Flowers added a man named Kelly to its roster. Though it should be noted that this Kelly Johnson ($1) fellow is stroking it to the tune of 1.07 points per plate appearance, which puts him behind only Ian Kinsler (1.21) and Chase Utley (1.10) for the best of the Second Baseman. Lyle Overbay was mercifully dropped.

I give this move an A for Another Breakout Season Ahead.

TransAction Mondays are provided by Commissioner Johnston for entertainment/reference purposes only and should be taken in the spirit in which they are written: with camaraderie and affection. TransActions are graded on the FAAB Scale, where F, A, A, and B represent whatever is convenient in any given week.