TransAction Monday

Da Infidels' GM finally got around to opening up the newspaper he writes for and reading the news that Rafael Furcal sprained his ankle 2-1/2 weeks ago. Jhonny Peralta was picked up for $1 to fill in for Furcal, with Hank Blalock being dropped.

Having Peralta one week earlier to fill the points void Furcal left in the first week probably would not have made up the 64-point deficit vs. the Sickos, but in this day and age where Jose Reyes can score 41 points (the 3rd highest offensive output in Week One), anything is possible.

On the F-A-A-B grading scale, I give this move an F for Finally.

The Darlings of the Split-Screen...er...um...Slipstream Starlings got a little rattled by the rush of John Patterson after one very lousy week. JP's two starts last week netted a total of 8 points. If I can find a calculator...yes...there we go...I see that's an average of 4 points per start. Wowee Zowee, that's bad. Patterson was sent off to a date with an Ikea...in the sky. The suddenly something Kip Wells -- owner of a 41 point first week, or 20.5 points per start -- was picked up for $1.

On the F-A-A-B grading scale, I give this move an A for All Right for Now.

The Not So Fragile Flowers can drop the Not So anytime, as both rostered catchers (repeat after me: both. rostered. catchers!) went down with injuries. Paulie Lo Duca -- a fine fill-in, and hot (baseball-wise) to boot -- was picked up for $2 (repeat after me: two. dollars!). Ramon Hernandez -- one of the aforementioned rostered/injured catchers -- was dumped to make room.

On the F-A-A-B grading scale, I give this move an F for Fragiltastic.

And that brings us to the sad case of the Jackanapes. A famous practitioner of the Don't Worry About Closers strategy is now running around like an idiot, collecting all the fat, ugly, old closers he can find. Todd Jones? Bob Wickman? At 470 pounds, that's a lot of rancid, hairy meat for $2. At least the Jones cut is smoked. The DL'd Dotel was dropped along with -- for inexplicable reasons -- Chris Ray.

On the F-A-A-B grading scale, I give this move an B for emBarrassing.

TransAction Mondays are provided by Commissioner Johnston for entertainment/reference purposes only and should be taken in the spirit in which they are written: with camaraderie and affection. TransActions are graded on the FAAB Scale, where F, A, A, and B represent whatever is convenient in any given week.