TransAction Monday

That darned Sock, Cap'n Jason Varitek, owner of a .318/.375/.591 (15 pts) week gets the ax from The Darned Sox, who have made their decision at Catcher: Michael Barrett (.381/.375/.952 and 25 pts on the week). Taking Varitek's roster spot is Hank Blalock ($1). Will Blalock take any playing time away from Ryan Zimmerman or is Blalock just another duplicative position player to collect dust on the bench a la the non-starting two of Drew, Rios and Ordonez. Only time will tell.

On the F-A-A-B grading scale, I give this move an A for Average, Hank Blalock's: .254

Since DCBA does not typically reward for poorly-pitched mop-up innings, the Sox put Brad Lidge out to pasture. And returning from the grave in his spot? Matt Morris ($1) who is currently clocking in at 15.67 points per start, higher that such nearly-dead pitchers as Curt Schilling (15.50), John Smoltz (14.90), Tom Glavine (14.80), and Kevin Millwood (12).

I give this move an A for Astute.

All the Wrong Cubs wigged out after a world-beating week and dropped that obscure object of their desire, Ty Allen Wigginton. Eric Byrnes ($2) was picked up in his stead to patrol RF while ATWC tries to figure out what to do with heralded prospect Carlos Quentin: Hold, Discard, or Play. Sometimes you never know what you have until you lay it down on the table. Then again, sometimes you don't know what you've got until it's gone. But on the other hand, you don't know what you have until he sits on the bench for a couple of weeks. These are the times that try men's souls.

I give this move a B for Boooooooooyrnes.

But that's not all. ATWC also picked up Randy "Woof" Wolf ($2) while dropping Jason Isringhausen. Instead of being relegated to the dustbin of baseball history, Wolf is making a quasi-comeback this season. Try this on for size: In four starts, Wolf's 18.25 points per game start is tied with Jake Peavy (18.25) and ahead of such so-called studs as Justin Verlander (17.50), Roy Oswalt (17.10), Jeremy Bonderman (17.00), and Brandon Webb (16.63). Whether or not he'll keep it up is another story. But in the meantime: nice find.

I give this move a B for Bravo.

Tough week for the Not So Fragile Flowers. Take away Micah Ownings injury-shortened week (and add in, say, Tom Glavine's points); lop off Lo Duca's suck-inflicted career (and add in, say, anyone else's points); and give Billy Wagner some save opps. and you may be looking at a different outcome. As it stands, with 20-20 vision during this time of hindsight, the NSFF can only do the honorable thing and drop Owings AND Lo Duca, find another RP, and get a hitter. Just what the doctor ordered: Chris Ray ($1) and Josh Hamilton ($2). Hamilton, it should be noted, is currently slugging out a cool 1.26 points per plate appearance. Eat THAT, Beltran (1.17), Ortiz (1.13), and Thome (1.10).

I give these moves an F for Forward-Thinking.

The Savage Sickos shelled out a buck to see if two Tim Wakefield starts are worth the price of one. (Answer: Yes. Maybe even less.) Brandon McCarthy was let go to make room. Maybe next year, Brandon.

I give this move a B for Been There, Done That.

And finally the Jackanapes picked up Kei Igawa ($1) in the hopes that if you add Igawa's points to Matzusaka's, it might come close to justifying a No. 1 Daisuke pick. John Patterson was dropped to make room.

I give this move an A for Asinine.

TransAction Mondays are provided by Commissioner Johnston for entertainment/reference purposes only and should be taken in the spirit in which they are written: with camaraderie and affection. TransActions are graded on the FAAB Scale, where F, A, A, and B represent whatever is convenient in any given week.