The Week In Review: One

Week 1: It's like Week 5, but with less disappointment, more off-days and the occassional snow - and as evidenced by the leaderboard (where a good dozen free agent hitters reside among the top 25), it's yet to become clear whether the old guy is reliable or the young horse is actually a stud or delaying his trip to the glue factory.

The Darned Sox (322.5) @ Slipstream Starlings (304)
Failing to take after their respective relief pitchers, the Sox couldn't blow it and the the Starlings couldn't cheat them fair. While the Starlings could've held out hope that Johjima might have actually played a game in the past 5 days, that would've also allowed more opportunities for Hafner & Ibanez to smack the ball around for the Sox. I'd stick a Pronk Bar up my ass if Kenji is bettering those 2 by himself. The real Capitol Punisher: John Patterson.

Da Infidels (253.5) @ Savage Sickos (317.5)
After acquiring Thunder Howard (5-23, 0 HR) and Lightning Soriano (6-28, 0 HR) over the offseason, it appeared Da Infidels were on their way to accomplishing the mission of winning baseball, but so far it's turned into nothing but shock and awe. Even though the Sickos' arms were bogged down, including ace northpaw Chris Carpenter, with AlexRod and Vernon Wells (who slipped all the way to #9 in the draft) holding up the offense, the Sickos are one step closer to securing a playoff upset for some other team.

Not So Fragile Flowers (299.5) @ All The Wrong Cubs (335)
Now we turn to the team that was perhaps most screwed over by the lake effect snowouts in Cleveland last week - NSFF. With Gravy Sizemore performing at the level he was, and extrapolating that across 3 more games, he would've scored...this is a back of the napkin calculation...93 more points, easily leading the NSFF to victory. Instead, the curse of the Piniero lives on and the sub-300 streak begins. ATWC rode an uncharacteristically hot start from AramisRam and chose the best 2 out of his possible 4 closers to secure the victory over their long-time rivals and a share of first place. If the playoffs started today, it'd have been the shortest regular season ever.

The Consummate Bastards (369) @ Festivus Miracles (359)
The highest scoring game of the week, despite the fact that (a) Albert Pujols posted a mere 15 points and (b) 2 of the CoBa starting pitchers were washed out. You're right if you're thinking that's the perfect recipe for a letdown. If the FM had read the draft review, he'd have started Javy Vazquez instead of Mussina and next thing you know, he's looking at Vazquez having a horrible start and Mussina tossing a no-hitter and blaming me. Glad that didn't happen. Altho he'd have lost under either scenario.

Jackanapes (299.5) @ Naps (292)
The matchup of the DCBA champions centered around the outings of the two most questionable personnel decisions coming into the year: #1 pick Daisuke Matsuzaka and keeper Rich Hill. Verdict: these guys don't look like idiots yet (for these decisions, at least) . And it's a good thing that the pitching carried them through, because the hitting was offensive, no pun intended. Jackanapes batting average: .2189; Naps batting average: .2188.

Player of The Week (Week 1): Alex "AlexRod" Rodriguez
Pitcher of The Week (Week 1): Scot "Scott" Shields

Pick to Click (Week 2): Akinori Iwamura
Pitch to Click (Week 2): Salomon Torres